Posted by still distraught on June 25, 2001 at 14:09:28:
After 3 sessions with a marriage counselor, I still don’t know what to do. My husband has admitted to being dishonest about several things. Most of them are related to $ and his whereabouts. After several discussions and threats of divorce, he has decided that he is happy with me and that he would be miserable without me. His reasoning for lying was that he wanted to “make things run smoothly”. He says he loves me and he is very affectionate, but I am having a hard time believing anything he says now. It is also hard to believe that he loves me because he has lied. The therapist told us that for the next two weeks, I am to let my guard down. This way, he will feel more relaxed to tell me things and I can then decide to stay or go. I still don’t know why he lied and I don’t feel that he is very healthy mentally. Funny…because in the beginning of our relationship, he seemed to have it all together. We are reading two books right now to help save our marriage. The books don’t really focus on dishonesty – except for that of affairs. I fear that he may have been unfaithful, though he said he has not. Based upon his behavior, it seems that he has. He has gone from being aloof and distant, to being critical to now being overly attentive. If someone has anything to offer, I’d really be grateful. Thanks.