Add a Lie that You have Told your parents or an adult.

LIES

We Tell Our Parents

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LIE WE TELL OUR PARENTS

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I started talking to this guy on AIM and I really liked him. So me & my friend told my mom we were going on a nature hike and drove out to see him. We ended up getting lost in one of the biggest citys in this state. It took us a while, but we got there. On the way home we had to speed... but I was still late so I told them I fell asleep at my friend's house watching a movie.
--- Me

i told my parents that i met a guy named casey at the movies when i actually met him on msn.and they dont like him so i cant tlak to him but him and i are going out
--- arielle stahl

Ok, this one has been bugging me.

I am 15, and I'm not even allowed in a car with a guy until im 16. Well my friends Kat, Andy and Dave all wanted to go to six flags. Andy's 17 and has a drivers licencse so of coarse I needed away to go, I wasnt about to miss out on the trip of the year. So I had Kat call and ask my mom if I could go to six flags with her, my mom who of coarse loves Kat like her own daughter said yes, and the night before I stayed at Kat's house and Andy & Dave picked us up their. We left early that morning and went to Ohio *we live in PA* and had a blast. To this day my mom and dad think Kats parents went. The whole time we were there I was praying that nothing bad happend and my mom would find out I was out of state with 2 boys.
Thank God she still doesn't know!
--- Z Watson

i also just make a joke out of evryting dey say 2 me so dey never bother ne more
--- funny man

my bro jus pays me 2 take da blame, and my parents dont care wat i do cos i jus laff @ dem if dey try an tell me off. dey r so stupid
--- funny man

um i want to go to this place in the mall tomorrow but the thing is that my mom wont let me go i need a really good excuse why i wana go its very important, the last day of school and im trying really hard to not piss my mom off, but she still says NO please HELP ME!
--- LaLaine

'Baga-mi-as pula in mortii ma-ti' means 'I'm sorry for telling lies to my parents'
--- O.N.I.

One night when I was a senior in High School, my girlfriend and I were fooling around in my bed. We were both pretty fuckin wasted, and for some reason she pulled out the nautica lotion. In the middle of her wackin me off I passed out. I woke up the next morning with my nuts burning like a bitch. I went to the bathroom to piss and my dick was red as a beat. Turns out the fuckin lotion had perfume in it and it burnt my balls and my rod. I couldnt touch it for 4 days and finally it peeled off. I beat her asss after that.
--- Will Anderson

fuck you
--- O.N.I.

My mother doesn't know i don't do my homeworks for school
--- O.N,I.

I told my mom I have only 10's at school and she believed me until she discovered i have a 7 at history
--- O.N.I.

i told my mom i was a virgin but i dont think she believes it. I stay out and drink and never go to school but my mom never finds out about it because i go to a school where you have to call them because they never call you.. its great because i never hafta go to school but she keeps givin me lunch money which i usually buy a pack of ciggarettes with.
--- becca

i told my mom i was a virgin but i dont think she believes it
--- becca
olney, IL99 usa9

I always tell my parents i am sleeping at a friends house but i sleep around at all these guys houses just so i can fuck them all night long and drop ecstacy and eat mushrooms.
--- Whitney

A week before I was 14, I invited friends over and oneof them had brought fireworks. We just started setting off fireworks when she went to pick up my sister from a late school thing and someone had called the cops on us. Good to have dumb cops. We told the cops that we were watching The Matrix. My mom came home after they left and she smelt the gun powder. She later found out that we had set off fireworks( but she never knew about the police) The worst thing that happened next was that I went to a friend's house the next week and was called the cops on when we had cap guns and where playing " cops and robbers" I was asked to "raise my hands above my head and spread em" I can't believe how mellow I was through the whole thing. My mom only knows about the 2nd police incident.
--- Unknown

I FUCKED AT AGE 8
--- "Anon"

well i always lie its the only way to get threw life. besides if you did tell ur parents all they do is just beat ur ass.
--- Nathan

My mom came up to me and asked me if i smoked pot and i was high at the time so i said no of course not. So then later that day she was washing my clothes and she found a gram of weed in my pant pockets. she came into my room and said what the hell is this. i told her i have no clue. she was yellin at me and then i said its my friends can i give it back to her
--- Nadinea

Wow! All through my teenage years there were nothing but lies to mom. Lying about where I was going when I was actually going to wild parties on a weekly basis, lying about who's house I was spending the night at, when it was actually with a guy much too old for me,lying about my homework.."It's already done!" and when she asked to see it i would take something out of my bookbag and erase the date and put that days date on it and show her LOL. Oh geez, now I have two daughters..PLEASE don't let them be like I was..PLEASE!!!
--- Melissa

when i was 12 i first had sex with my g/f she was a virgin,i told her i was also but i really wasnt.
--- Ian

My mom would kill me if she knew all the shit I got into when I was a kid. I always used to tell her that I was out with the friends watching "movies" until 5am. I reality I was partying and having the tiem of my life. Droping acid, smoking pot and constantly drinking. It was great. And it didn't hurt me any. Then one day she found a roach in the ashtray of my car, a damn bg one two, we rolled like 7g's into that sucker. I managed to convince her that I had only smoked that once, even though she found 3 packs of papers in my car.
--- Jon

This lie was actually told by me to my Great-Grandmother who was raising me for a while,(my parents did not raise me).
At age 7 I had to do homework one afternoon. I did not want to do it. I hated homework. So My Great-Grandmother who was a Baptist in a major way decided to help me. She said ok read this page to me. I pretended I could not read it and Said I can't see it. She then pulled out other books concerned for my eye sight and I lied and said I could not read it, it was all blurry I said.
She looked real worried and I got out of homework that night. So the next day I did the same thing, I cant read it, it is blurry, I can't see it. I got out of doing homework and school work! I was amazed and felt brilliant.
Soon, My Great-Grandmother took me to the eye doctor, I was scared of beign found out, so I lied and pretended not to be able to see at the doctors exam. The doctor looked concerned and I left the examing room while my Great-Grandmother consulted with the Doc. In the mean time I was biting my fingernails, thinking I was for sure found out, I knew it was hard to fool a doctor! So when my Great-Grandmother came out of the doctors office crying I was like shocked and puzzled. Did my lie make her cry. But then she grabbed me and hugged on me and was just crying and beign all nice to me and took me out for ice cream! So I was just like relived that I was not in trouble.
Later that day when we got home I heard her on the telephone crying and telling my whole family and her friends I was going blind!!!
I was like oh no...I knew this had gone too far besides it was getting diffulcult to pretend I could not see all the time. I also could not figure out how I fooled the doctor...this just amazed me.
So I sat in my room trying to figure out what to do and had a very sleepless night.
The next day I was playing around and noted some people were comming through the front door, I could hear them all talking about my blindness and how it was so sad etc. I then heard the minister come in from the church. I was thinking OH NO!!! The minster will know I'm lieing I'm for sure going to hell. That is when they called me in the room to meet the minister...I was totally freaking out. I just wanted to go crawl in a hole somewhere.
The minster had some holy water or something and they all started to pray as he put it on my forhead.
I asked what this was all for and they said that they were praying to God to cure my blindness!
After that day I decided to start seeing again little by little...
Everyone thought it was a miracle and I was the star of the church! I was curedof my blindness through prayer!
I never told anyone the truth until I wrote it here. I also never told a lie like that again...too hard to keep up with!
Lunakita

--- Lunakita

i have never been a very good liar. The classics are when ur wee and u have ur moms lipstick all over ur face, her mascara in ur hair and her shaving foam all over ur legs, and ur mom comes in and says"have u been messing around with my make up?", and u turn around, smile innocently and say"no mummy, it wasn't me it was dad!"
--- ashamed

well now i'm 17 i lost my verginatey when i was 14but my mom never found out yet so i'm happy haa dumb momy
--- "Anon"

The summer that I was 15, my best friend who was 2 years older and lived just round the corner from me was on 2 months of A Level exam leave. Our parents had this deal going that meant her Dad would take us to school and my Dad was pick us up afterwards. The weather that Summer was wonderful and needless to say I decided that I would rather spend my time sunbathing with my best friend in her back garden than slogging away in school. So we hatched up a plan. She would tell her parents that I was ill and therefore didn't need a lift in the morning and then i would hang around in the bushes until they went off to work and Voila! I had the whole day to relax in the sunshine. I had an old sick-note from my Dad that I used to tape to her conservatory window and trace, just changing the dates to suit when I had been skipping school. I used to hand them in to my teachers and nobody batted an eyelid! Then one day we pulled off our little trick only to discover that I had left my cigarettes at home. I couldn't go and buy more at the shop for my fear of my Dad catching me so after careful consideration I phoned my Dad told him that I had left an important school book in the house and could he take it over to my friends house because she would be popping into school later and would be able to give it to me and incidentally could he also take my cigarettes over to her too. Sure enough my Dad came round handed my friend the "needed school book" plus the cigarettes whilst I hid from view in her bedroom!!!! He never suspected a thing. I am 21 now and still have never had the heart to tell him! That definately had to be one of the best summers of my life though!!!
--- "Anon"

just today as a matter of fact, i was skipping school at around 10 o'clock and i was walking over to a friend's house a ways down the road.I've learned from experience that if you look like your doing what your supposed to be doing, then the fucking cops won't fuck with you. So, i was just a walking, minding my own damn business, and a pig drove by, i turned around just in time to see him hit his brakes and make a turn to stop me. I took one last glance, and said to that fat motherfucker, fuck you man!!! and hauled ass.i ran and ran and ran and ran until i came up with a good one to get me outta the shit i was getting myself into. as soon as he yelled stop it right there, turn around with your hands up and walk to me slowly, i turned around and took off running towards him telling him thankyou thankyou! He said for what? and i told him i thought he was the same guy who was trying to kidnap me down the road, so i ran, for fear of my life. His stupid ass beleived me.

*********onkeymoo*******
--- onkeymoo

five pints of cider, a two sheet king joint loaded to the max, much room spinniness, vomiting, went home at six in the evening, went straight to bed..... told everyone in the house that I was just tired!
--- claire

I took something of my mom and when she asked where it was i said I don't know
--- "Anon"

when i said i was going to a movie with a parent she didnt belive me but i wasnt going with a parent i was going with my friends then she said that she want to talk to her so i didnt know what to say then she said no your not going until i speak to the parent give a advice hurry
--- Joel

Nah, seriously, you never did anything terribly wrong during my childhood; I'm not the least bit scarred.
--- Claudia

once i told my mom i was a piece of poo isnt that funnie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
--- poo poo(terri loveday)

I wanted to go to this really wild party in 8th grade but knew that my parents wouldn't let me go so I told them that I was going to a close friend's birthday party. The party rocked and my parents never found out! Unfortunately the whole night I was afraid that they would call my friend's house and then I would be trapped.
--- Heather

yeah yeah nunchucks
--- Jesus

no mom the reason i puked was because i gagged from spitting i didn't drink mom i never drink thats disgusting i would never do that
--- steve

it was the dog not me!
--- nailz

The devil made me do it.
--- Alex

If I came home late, and I come home; the first thing they ask is where were you?, how I lie is I say" Oh no where, I was with my friend you know HER, but I tried to phone; noone answered". Then I go to my room change and ask how was her day.It's works.
--- michlle p

once when i was 15 my friends and i were skipping school to go to a guys house but when we got there we got picked up by the police and tooken back to school they called my house and told my parents so when i got home i told them that the police were stupid becuase i was just coming back from the store(which is across the street from school) becuase the teacher wanted us to bring something for a party we were going to have in class and that the cops just felt like picking me up i'm not sure they believed me but it got me off the hook for awhile.
--- "Anon"

My parents would kill me if they knew some of the shit they let me get away with. For example, when I was 13 I recomended the 19-yr-old boy who lived down the street to babysit. They knew he was friends with my bf but didn't know that my bf had moved out and was living with him and his gf. So my parents were gone for a week and made my babysitter promise that I either slept over at his house (he had a gf living with him also, so that was okay) or he slept at our house. Trust me that was a promise well kept. I spent the whole week sleeping with my bf all day and night, I didn't even go to school. How stupid can parents be?
--- ANON

When my younger sister and I were kids, my mom had this ugly southwestern inspired clay lamp that she absolutely loved sitting in the living room. One afternoon after a hard day at school my sister was sitting in the lazy boy, and went to stretch her arms out. Sure enough, I watched in horror as she barely bumped the lamp with her hand and it went crashing down onto the hardwood floor. The thing must have been in a hundred pieces...we knew my mom would be horrified when she came home, and never believe how it got broken.
Anyway, the lamp had a long cord that coiled onto the floor behind the chair. Sometimes our golden retreiver would lie back there. So when my mom came home to find her precious lamp shattered, my sister told her that the cord had gotten caught on the dog's tail and pulled off the table! Since you really can't punish a dog for something like that, the lamp was swept up and thrown away...

10 years later she is still looking for a replacement lamp, and still doensn't know what really happened to the old one. It has become a running joke between my sister and I to blame *everything* on the dog. Thanks for taking the rap on that one, Boone.
--- anon

Last summer, my bf's parents were on vacation for two weeks. Seeing a clear opportunity, we decided that I would spend the night for some much needed "quality time" heh..I told my parents I was sleeping over my best friend's house after cheering practice, and that was that. So, after cheering, I hopped into another girl's car who was going to bring me over to my bf's house. However, my coach told my mom when she came to pick up my sister that my friend never showed up at cheering!! To solve this little problem, on the way to my bf's I stopped at my friend's house and asked her mom if I could use her phone. I just called my mom's house so my friend's number would be on her Caller ID!! When I got over my bf's, the phone rang, and it was my mom!! Well, she knew I was over my bf's, but I told such a great lie, she never knew: "Mom, yeah, my friend is still shopping, so I went over my bf's until she gets home, and then his older brother is going to bring me over." She bought the whole thing, no questions ever asked, and I certainly had a great night ;)
--- Sarah

Hi,
Well,we were already 15 minutes late going back to school from lunch and none of us really wanted to go back. It was us three girls, Amber, Lynsie, me (Laura), and my boyfriend Jeremy. It was his truck that took us eveywhere including his farm that day. So we all voted not to go back and went to his place for some fun. When we got there we all stripped down, some of changed, to go swimming. We saw the tank that was to serve as our swimming pool but it was so green and just..yuck! We had a bath tub there so we filled that up too. We all began to get each other wet and just have fun. Then Lynsie and Jeremy decided to go into the tank, Amber followed too. I was grossed out and just sat on the tail gait. We weren't having much fun when we got there so I ran back into Jeremy's house and found something I could lite on fire (being the pyro that I am.) I found some toilet paper and some matches. I ran out yelling to Amber to come help and she took one end and pulled it out about 10 feet. Then I lit it on fire but found that it didn't burn to well by itself. I went back to find some sort of fluid and found a bottle of alchole. I tried that and it worked pretty good. All of us girls had wanted to ride a bull but none of us ever got the chance. So Jeremy brought his cow over there and and I rode her! Well anyways, it came close to school getting out so we decided to change and get back to school. But then we had think up "The Lie" I have a history of blacking out from not eating and lately my parents knew that I hadn't been eating good at all so I was the choosen one. We all agreed to tell the school and our parents that we went out to lunch ( I didn't eat) then went to Amber's to get something. While we were there I blacked out and they wouldn't leave me. Which I felt so bad and weak that I wouldn't go back. Finally after all our preivously failed phone calls to our parents we got a hold of Jeremy out at his farm who came to pick me up and take me home. Well, we all went home and told our parents immediatly. Everyone's parents believed it, but my dad. Although I personaly refuse to tell the truth, keeping up the lie to save us all. My mom believes me so I think that's all what matters.
--- Laura

I was in school and the lunch bell rang so I went to lunch with jeremy,luara,and lynsie and we went to a resturant and they got our food to us late so by the time we had finished eating we were seriously late so we decided not to go to school at all and went to jeremy's farm and jeremy dips so he had a soda bottle with spit in it and i told lynsie to hold it and another bottle andshe wasent paying attention and spilled it all over me it was sooo nasty and had an extra pair of pants in the truck and i told him to pull over so i could change and he said to just wait because we were almost there so when we got there we found out he had a tank and we decided we were going to go swimming and laura was like lets just go in our under wear and i said no im getting in with my clothes on so i can clean the spit of so we did go swiming then we threw jeremy in oh and we also started a fire and tried to take his truckbut we had to make up a lie to tell our parrents so lura some times blacks out because she doesent eat like me so thats what we used
--- amber

Hi ...I want to sleep over my boyfriend's house tonight but I don't know what to tell my mom. I've done it one other time and I told her that I was staying by my friend's house (a girl) so she didn't care. I just want to spend time with him...is there any advice on what to tell her??? Thanx
--- Angel

I am 20 years old and in college, where I find myself living the life I want to live, however, when I come home I still find it nessecary to lie to my mom. For instance, last summer, I partied hard, all the time. I told her I was playing pool, twister and watching movies with friends. No matter we did this until 5 am. This summer is no different. "Yes mom, I had fun in Brainerd. What did we do? Well, we hung out. Went to the mall and stuff. By the way, we're all crashing at Matt's because we enjoy each other's company so much." The real story? I crashed at Matt's because we were all tripping on acid and the TV was glowing neon pink and he was scared he was losing his mind and didn't want to be left alone. What did I learn from all this? The most important lesson of all: Never underestimate the power of denial
--- "Anon"

Mom and Dad, I do lie to you. I go to raves when I say spending the night at my friend's house. I've done drugs, had sex, and Oh dad, when you were away people had sex in this house and did drugs, but not me! Oh, but I did have a 26 year old over when I was 16! Whoops! And I loved it. Oh and that trip I made? hehe... that's not really where I went! I'm going to do it all again, too.
--- Felicity

Well well...I started smokin when i was 13...you know, when you start smokin you don't even inhale that smoke. Anyway, mother found out 2 years ago about my small vice and she forced me to smoke just 2 per day. That idiot thinks i'm actually smoking 2 every day, when it's actually half packet. "there are too many cigarettes on the ashtray!!" she says... "No mom, it's my friend's". Poor idiot
--- Lucazzo

I didn't do it
--- thomas

It was already broken when I got it.
--- thomas

We were just talking.
--- "Anon"

g
--- "Anon"

I remember blazing on LSD one night and I got home about four in the morning and my mom said, "Oh, I'm glad you're home. Come drive your father to the airport with me." She didn't mention anything about the hour I was coming home as a sixteen year old. She just wanted some company. Anyway, for fear of my dad finding out I was high I remained quiet until he had gone but my mom asked me to drive on the way home. Every lamp post sparkled like a torch. Cars stretched themselves out in front of us like snakes. I was terrified. I began to cry. My mom asked, "What's wrong." I replied, "I guess I'm just feeling a little emotional, that's all."
--- Liar

I feel stupid even telling this story sometimes...cause it doesn't show much intelligence...but I was 13 (which should explain it *grin*). During that special time we all go through sometime or another---being obsessed with fire---my friend and I went out into the forest with a paper cup of gasoline (from my dad's lawnmower) and some matches. We quickly lit a little fire...and were happy as can be watching it burn. My friend asked me to pour some more gasoline in the fire, and me being the bright blonde I am, held the paper cup filled with gasoline over the fire to pour. The cup burst into flames in my hand...caught my shirt on fire...and I went rolling into the grass (STOP DROP AND ROLL people *grin*). Unfortunately..some of the flames spread to the surrounding forest...and my friend was busy panicking and stomping those out while I rolled. By the time things calmed down...I had 2nd and 3rd degree burns all up my arm. I was actually calm through the whole thing (after the dropping and rolling, of course LOL) and told my parents some half-assed lie that I was taking the paper cup away from a couple of little morons (who were doing what we were doing--*grin*) and it burst into flames in my hand (the fumes caught in my little story). They never said anything...but they *couldn't* have believed me...LOL.
--- Abby

One day, I ahd come down stairs, and my mom was sitting on the computer, and I had almost fallen, because I was high! She asked me what was wrong, and I had told her that my knee was swelled, and that I was taking some kind of medicine fo it. She didn't fall for it! The next day, I had gone to the hospital to get blood work done, and thank God, they didn't uncover my secrect!
--- kimberly

we i was 15 i told my mom that i was going to my friends house and instead me and her went to this guys house and that was when i lost my virginty and mom thought i was a virgin untill i was 17. she never has found out about the truth
--- deedee

we i was 17 i asked my mom and dad if i could go yo my friends house Danail ramey(it a female and thats the name we told the cops) n-e-ways i went to her house for like 6 months and only met her mom 1 time cause we never went to her house we always went to my boyfriends and got drunk and stayed there she always met her boyfriend there and our moms never did know that we always lied to them we told her mom she was coming to my house we told my mom i was going to her house and we always got drunk and ran around town.
--- samantha ramey

How's this for a lie? I met my girlfriend on the 'net (I lied and said i was straight...i'm really a lesbian,) and anyway, i told my parents i met her at university and we really met on some personals ad page! and as well, since they thought i met her in school, i couldn't tell them she is 23 since i'm only 19! ha! how's that for a lie?
--- pixiefrost

For almost a full school year my dad has asked and asked if i smoked and everytime he asked i kept on saying no. So one night me and him went to a gasstation and i finally told him and i didn't get in trouble i should have told him sooner!!!!
--- Chana Hagen

One time alot ofgirls spent the night at my house and we were on the phone with another guy our age.(13)And we planned to go to the movies the next day.so we went.It turned out that me and one of the guys went to the movies and messed around and he ended up giving me a hickey.well anyways,about two days after my mom saw and asked what that wuz.i told her that my cat scratched me and she bought it.well she really didnt see it for that long so i guess it could of looked like a kitty scratch.
--- Vanessa

That you are gutless wonders who instead of developing the courage to speak the truth have to perpetuate a entire culture
of falsehood,illusion and deceit. Your lies are shallow attempts at trying to feel
powerful when it really is your feelings of powerlessness that are your problem.
Try standing up for yourself. If they physically abuse you call the police. But
if all you are capable of are behaviors such as lying, drugs and cowardice then you will never find the way to your true self. All authority is bogus when it comes
to telling you who you are or what you are
suppose to be. Only you can find that out.
Everyone has their agenda, what they want
from you. What do you want for you?

--- "Anon"

It was the first time I had ever tried the vitamins L, S, and D so I didn't know what the physical side effects were (IE huge pupils). Anyway I dropped the acid and then my mom wanted to know if I wanted to go with her to Garden Ridge Pottery, which is a creepy old pottery store north of here. I had no idea what to expect (from the acid) and when we got there all I could do was laugh at the people who all seemed to be mentally retarded. My mom was getting kind of suspicous but I just told her "I'm really tired mom" then she looked into my blue eyes (which cause the huge pupils to really stand out) and said "Boy you do look tired maybe we should go home". On the weekends I am tired a lot now...
--- Mike

It wasn't me.
--- test

My dad was a mean bastard who used to blame me anytime I hurt myself. He'd scream: "You stupid little shit, how the hell did that happen!?" I was always afraid of him. Once, while I was riding a new bike that I was very lucky to have (my folks rarely gave me things), I fell and twisted my ankle badly. I made it home and my dad saw me limping off the bike and said, "That damn bike! The kid has gone and broken his ankle!" I was immediately afraid he would take the bike away from me and I lied, "No, I twisted it playing football. Honest."
--- Steve

Click here to add a lie a kid told to anyone one else

My little brother always makes messes. It doesn't bother me that much, but he shares a room with my other brother who is a neat freak. When my little brother got his first fish, I told him he'd have to keep his room clean or else the fish would get scared of the mess, wouldn't eat, and would die. Well, the lie worked... but we felt bad after a few days and told him the truth. Lol.
--- Me

Well Once i told my parents that I didnt cut my hair i cut the dogs hair

--- Jean

Ok- I am a mormon. It was a really really hott day and we were out in the preaching work. Well- this guy I was with had a call on an older lady. Well ancient lady- i mean-this lady could tell the story of the dinosaurs...anyways. When we got there- she invited us in for a drink while we talked. She had this yippity itty bitty teacup sized dog. The kind that doesn't ever shutup. When teh lady went to get our drinks it stayed and still yipped! I dont' remember exactly how it happened, but i jumped from my seat right in front of it to get it to run off. It fell over on its side.....and stopped breathing about a second later. The little old lady was yelling from the kitchen asking us about sugar and we were trying to figure out what to do with the dog. We ended up stuffing teh now dead little dog into my bookbag. I felt aweful. The dog was all the lady had. When she returned we told her we had an emergancy and had to go. Poor old lady
--- Desiree

I ONCE TOLD MY MOM I WAS GOING WALKING BUT I DIDN'T I WENT TO FUCK THIS BOY AND HE WAS GOOD IN BED TO. HE EVEN ATE ME OUT YUMMM
--- BRITTANY

crazykid69 and his mom are both idiots.
--- "Anon"

It was after school school and i was supposed to go home but then my friends wanted me to come smoke up wit dem. so i went wit dem and went home at 2 in the morning. when my aunt asked me where i was i told her i called but no one answered and i was at west edmonton mall with my friend and we had to walk home.
--- Naddy

The bigest lie to tell would be "I have no clue what ur talkin bout?"
--- Baby_Angel

lol, de great lies of de 20th century...whut will we think of next?
--- Richard

Ok, One day I had thrown a party because my mom was gone. At her Boy Freinds I had about 40 people over all through the night. We had gotten her alchohol and all got trashed. So anyways my sister walked in. At the time she was a bitch and well lets just say my party was crazy. So she walked in and found Strippers dancing just about naked infront of some of my freinds these girls were 17 and 16 don't think i went and hired them they did it at free will. Anyways a bit ealrier before she busted them A carton of cigarettes were stolen from me. So i went to the guys house and his dad answered and i told him his little fucking sons had jacked a carton of my cigarettes and he said i really don't think they did leave now.(That fucking redneck was in on it but i get my revenge.)So that pissed me off so i got high w/ some freinds. And well anyways my sister walked in and busted everyone but i was gone trying to get some other hotties to come. So i come back my sister is crying and she had called the cops and my mom.And i was like oh fuck cuz at them time i was Drunk and high. And the cops were coming which i couldnt stress enough. So anyways my sister was crying because earlier when she asked where i was a freind said i had gone to confront the kids that stole my ciggarettes. And his dad had pulled a gun and shoved me and told me not to come back(Thanks Dave!) so anyway my mom gets back and is really pissed cuz the carpet is ruined. From all the alchohol stains.She got there before the cops did i asked her whats wrong she said "When the cops come your on your own." I was like SHIT!so they came a questioned me about the empty alchohol bottles in the trash im still stoned and drunk. I said "Oh well they were drinking before they got here and that alchohol isnt from here its from them." My mom didnt say shit cuz she wanted to see if i could get myself out of this.She thought i was going to jail. The cop went back to my room and asked why are your eyes red i said i was crying earlier cuz i was scared from that guy. (HAHA) So then he says so was a Gun pulled on you and were u shoved? I had said "yeah." (Thinking)IM GONNA GET MY REVENGE! I said yeah He pushed me on my ass and pulled a gun.And said if i come back i would be shot.Being im 16 at the time and he was 36. He got arrested for assaultand battery on a minor posession of a illegal weapon. He didnt pull a gun but w/ my luck he had a gun. Also he had posession of narcotics. So on the way for him back to the police car i said "It's Funny how that worked out huh? He gave me a mean face and was put in the car hes still in jail hell be out in 2006 on good behavior. My only penalty was I had to replace the carpet.My mom had smiled and said "Wow i cant believe u Bs'd your way out of that. "Your so Funny."
--- CrazyKid69

It was the cutiest thing. I hadn't seen my little cousin in a couple of months, so I went to spend the night with him and his mom. Well it was getting pretty late so his mom sent him to bed. He was really mad at this because no one else was going to bed yet. He was in his room for about a half hour when he came out and told his mom he needed to change his underwear. She asked him why and he kept telling her I don't know. Finnally we found out that he peed the bed, and if that wasn't funny enough, when she asked him why, He said "I was to busy thinking about books"
--- jeannie

You people are losers.
--- Sasha

I DONT KNOW IS THE BEST LIE I THINK
--- "Anon"

My friend Shawna and I were smoking pot in my car, on a tiny little road out in the middle of nowhere. We'd already finished one joint, and the little Neon was now a big cloud of smoke. Shawna was rolling the other, when up behind us pulls a cop. I reek of pot. My car reeks of pot. My buddy has pot all over her lap. Somehow I had to speak to this man without him coming near me or the car. So, in a burst of stoned genius, I pop my hood, get out of the car, and begin poking around, before the cop's even come to a complete stop. "What's the problem?" he asks, as Shawna stashes the weed. "Well, sir," says I, "I'm not sure if it's the starter or the battery, but something's acting really funny. I've just got to get it started so I can get it home and have my dad look at it." He looks at us suspiciously, but Shawna, bless her soul, jumps right in on it. "Here, Livvy, throw me the keys, and I'll try to start it while you look." I do, and the Fates smiled. My car did not start. The suspicion melted off the cop's face. My luck held, and after I randomly poked at a few things, the engine turned over. My relif was NOT a lie. "Well, sir, guess I can get this home to my dad now. Thanks for stopping." And off he drove, and off I drove. Don't you just love a happy ending? It made it all the better that this was my third time to talk my way out of trouble with the law that summer. Hurrah!
--- Olivia

You're definitely a compulsive liar anon!
--- "Anon"

Well this isn't really under this catagory but I lied to this really hot boy I liked. I really never believed in Jesus...and he did a lot. I told him how I felt about christ and he wanted to help me...well sort of. So that night I told him that when I was at CCD I cried my eyes out and had a vision of Christ on the cross...and now I believe. He believed me, but wasn't that a sin that I said that?
--- Sarah

I don't know if this is a lie but I got busted at school for having some nun-chucks in my locker -- you know, those Bruce Lee sticks connected with a little chain. Anyway, I get called out of class by the Narc and he's this big tall grey haired asshole and he takes me into a room and asks me to put my hands on the desk. I do this and he starts to pat search me for more weapons. Then he reaches around the front of my crotch and scqueezes my balls!!

He never wanted to search me!! He just wanted to squeeze my nuts. FUCK SCHOOL!!!!!!!!
--- "Anon"

ONE NIGHT I WAS SPEEDING DOWN THIS 4 MILE STRETCH OF HIGHWAY.YOU KNOW HOW TEENAGERS ARE. ANYWAY, I HAD WENT ABOUT 2 1/2 MILES ALREADY AND I DONT HOW FAST I WAS GOING BUT THE LAST TIME I LOOKED DOWN IT WAS... WELL THE NEEDLE WAS COMPLETELY BARRIED. THEN JUST MY LUCK I SEE THESE LIGHTS FLASHING IN THE REAR VIEW MIRROR. MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS AN AMBULANCE, BUT NO IT WAS A COP. WE PULLED OVER AND HE WALKED UP TO THE CAR, HAND ON HIS GUN, FLASHLIGHT IN HAND LOOKING IN THE REAR WINDOW (as if he could see anything through the privacy glass)FOR ANY WEAPONS AND SUCH AND HE ASKED ME IN THAT DEEP VOICE "YOU MIND TELLIN ME WHATS THE BIG HURRY FOR?" I SAID IT AS FAST AS I THOUGHT IT UP, "MY GIRLFRIENDS IN LABOR AND IVE GOT TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL!" THEN BEFORE I KNEW IT HE SAID," ALRIGHT BUT SLOW DOWN AND IF I CATCH YOU DRIVING LIKE THAT AGAIN ILL TAKE YOU JAIL." AFTER I THANKED HIM AND APOLIGIZED TO HIM FOR WASTING HIS TIME I DROVE ON DOWN THE HIGHWAY, PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK BECAUSE I JUST TALKED MY WAY OUT OF A WRECKLESS DRIVING TICKET... AND THE COP BOUGHT! THE TRUTH WAS I WAS DOING IT FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES AND I DIDNT REALLY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND AT THE TIME NOR DID I HAVE A KID ON THE WAY.
--- "Anon"

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Additional perl and cgi scripts can be found at Matt's Script Archive

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