Why Do Men Lie?
She bore him a child but he
still plays around like one...
Why can't my boyfriend tell the
truth?
from
Loula
My boyfriend might be lying to me but I'm not sure. I have a two
month old baby girl with him. When I first got pregnant I told him that I didn't
want have a baby without first getting married. He told me he wanted to get a
job before he got married. During my pregnancy he was cheating on me with another
woman. When I found out about it he whimpered and cried and told me it was a mistake
and promised it would never happen again and asked for forgiveness.
I forgave him and
things have been going okay but I think he is still fooling around with other women.
We live in two different countries and only see each other two or three times a
year. We have been together for two years.
Sometimes when I call his home he doesn't answer the phone and I wonder if he has
somebody with him, or if maybe he's just out getting groceries or something. When I ask
questions, he always finds answers and reasons to cover up his lies. Why do you
think he would need to lie. Why can't he tell the truth? He has already other kids
with other women, too.
i know that she should leave him..but it is hard.i am with a man who is very manipulative,cunning,and deceitful...and its very had to leave him.God knows how hard ive tried.My days are cold and lonely without him..but i cry when im with him..because i know that he is lying to me.He cheats on me and makes me feel like Im his world.He swears on his children...on his dead father...and looks me straight in the eye.I think im still with him because i know i cannot live without him.Im stupid.Im weak.I am too dependant on him for emotional support,financial stability etc...so i would go crazy if i left him. --- "Anon"
please JERRY SPRINGER SHOU. ADRESS --- Toni
Kim, Do you have that weird, warm feelig in your chest when you think about it? Does your heart feel restricted and does your throat feel like it has lumps in it? Because you cannot live with that feeling. It isn't healthy or good for anybody. My mother got a divorce from my father for similar reasons-my sister and I were 4 and 6. We are fine today. I miss my dad-but they are both happily remarried. Is he the man you longed for when you were younger? Do you feel like the luckiest woman alive when you wake up in the morning and you see him by your side-when you hold him and you feel his heartbeat? You cannot fool your heart. --- Kelly
I have such a strong feeling that my husband is cheating that I can't cope with life right now. On August 9th a drove by a bar to find him in the car with another girl. I flipped out completley. He says to me that he was smoking a joint with her(which he does on occasion) He says that she was his friends wife and he asked anyone if they wanted to smoke and her husband said she does. When I pulled up they were sitting on opposite sides of the car and it looked like they wern't even talking. I was a wreck about this for a couple of weeks nd then decided to try to let it go and trust him. Then I find some random sheet in a bag ( a store I don't shop at) in my garage. We do go camping a lot and I've asked everyone if they are missing a green sheet, and nobody is. Then I find a CD this morning that most likely a girl would listen to in my house. He has no idea where or how these things are. I find it so hard to believe. My friends don't think Greg is possible of cheating because he shows a lot of love to me. He really doesn't seem like the type of person that would pick someone up at a bar. I've known him for twelve years and we have two boys and we've had a lot of problems. He's put me through a lot of hell that I've forgiven him for, but I will never forgive cheating. I can't live with the not knowing it's tearing me apart inside. He acts like I'm nuts and he can look me in the eyes and swear on his childrens lives that he has done nothing, and it's in my head. All these horrible thoughts of deception go through my head all day everyday. I truly feel something isn't right. Please Help!! --- Kim Comeau
Loula should stay. I think for the child's sake. I mean after all is said and done she is talking about her child's father. Any number of people...guests and people in the audience of the Jerry Springer show would agree with me. No lie. --- Deborah Russell
Honesty and dishonesty are learned in the home. Parents are often concerned when their child or adolescent lies.
Lying that is probably not a serious problem:
Young children (ages 4-5) often make up stories and tell tall tales. This is normal activity because they enjoy hearing stories and making up stories for fun. These young children may blur the distinction between reality and fantasy.
An older child or adolescent may tell a lie to be self-serving (e.g. avoid doing something or deny responsibility for their actions). Parents should respond to isolated instances of lying by talking with the youngster about the importance of truthfulness, honesty and trust.
Some adolescents discover that lying may be considered acceptable in certain situations such as not telling a boyfriend or girlfriend the real reasons for breaking up because they don't want to hurt their feelings. Other adolescents may lie to protect their privacy or to help them feel psychologically separate and independent from their parents (e.g. denying they sneaked out late at night with friends).
Lying that may indicate emotional problems:
Some children, who know the difference between truthfulness and lying, tell elaborate stories which appear believable. Children or adolescents usually relate these stories with enthusiasm because they receive a lot of attention as they tell the lie.
Other children or adolescents, who otherwise seem responsible, fall into a pattern of repetitive lying. They often feel that lying is the easiest way to deal with the demands of parents, teachers and friends. These children are usually not trying to be bad or malicious but the repetitive pattern of lying becomes a bad habit.
There are also some children and adolescents who are not bothered by lying or taking advantage of others. Other adolescents may frequently use lying to cover up another serious problem. For example, an adolescent with a serious drug or alcohol problem will lie repeatedly to hide the truth about where they have been, who they were with, what they were doing, and where the money went.
What to do if a Child or Adolescent lies:
Parents are the most important role models for their children. When a child or adolescent lies, parents should take some time to have a serious talk and discuss:
The difference between make believe and reality, lying and telling the truth
The importance of honesty at home and in the community
Alternatives to lying
If a child or adolescent develops a pattern of lying which is serious and repetitive, then professional help may be indicated. Evaluation by a child and adolescent psychiatrist would help the child and parents understand the lying behavior and would also provide recommendations for the future.
--- "Anon"
Small Lies and Big Lies
from Eric N.
If a lie is obvious, people will understand it right away, or as soon as they try to act on it, tell it to someone else, etc. This makes big lies harmless; they can even safely be used as humor. In contrast, small lies are capable of serious, long-term damage, and even if it is uncovered, people may have based too much on them to be able to correct it. In a sense, small lies may become truth because people act as if they are. This is why they must be stopped, and stopped in time. Stopping a small lie may require much effort, especially in alerting the complacent masses of its falsity, but stopping it now will require less effort than stopping it later, especially if it spreads.
This is not unlike how we deal with physical dangers. If a substance is known to cause death, it will be withdrawn, banned, or criminalized only if it does so sufficiently fast. A substance that kills a person 30 to 50 years after starting to use it daily, may, at most, not be sold to children. A substance that kills immediately will be subject to intense reactions. This is why smoking can continue to kill millions of people and remain an industry while dissemination of sarin in a subway will cause a historic man-hunt for the perpetrators, even though many more people died from smoking-related ills the same day than were even hurt from the sarin.
--- "Anon"
You should be the poster girl for birth control. Under your face should be "Don't let this happen to you!" You might as well stay and let him lie to you. At this point, to even ask this question makes me sure that you would just replace him with another lier. You might as well have ALL YOUR KIDS with the same one. It's less confusion for everyone involved. --- Unbelievable
Relationships are not like disposable diapers -- you can't just throw them away when they start to get shitty! Why don't you try to see if you can stop being so damn selfish all the time and work things out instead of just breaking up all the time??
Damn. --- "Anon"
Men have cheated on me, too and I have tolerated it because I know that real love can blossom even after infedelity. You should stay with him. --- Carol
just... dump him. --- someone
once they do it once they always will again,and a long distance relationship is almost impossible to maintain.sorry not what you want to hear but true. --- "Anon"
She should dump him because once you cheat, you always cheat. I know because I am the cheater in the marriage. I will say this: It is not as black and white as it might seem. It is not always just a heartless act of sex. Sometimes it is more. --- Jennifer
he cheats --- peggy palmer
i've been the other woman. he will never tell you the truth. --- "Anon"
once a cheater always a cheater. i dated a guy last year who is only 25 and has been married and divorced twice. the whole time we were supposed to be "together", he cheated on me with 3 different women. they start making up excuses and can't tell you the truth when they supposedly love you, it's time to move on. --- sum1who'sbeenthere
I think she should dump him for many reasons, but I will only state a few for times sake. One, it sounds like she has talked about her feelings with him and he doesn't care what she wants for her or their childs future. Two, she wrote to ask for advice, and I feel she already knows what she wants to do but needs encouragement or perhaps guidence in doing so. Women can stand tall & strong withoout a man beside them EVEN if they have children. I know what I am talking about, for I have experiance in the issue being through it myself. --- Brandy
two differant countries! no way is dat a relationship. and as for him gettin a job b4 he gets married 'hello!!!!' if he is truthful and loves you that much he'd jump to the idea of marrige. and after all it takes two.
its up to you but na id definatly dump him and there are plenty of guyz about!!! --- kate
well, i think that if you doubt in the first place that he is doing it then he probably is. you should always trust your instincts. second, and i think that it is the MOST important reason: your staying with him is not setting a good example for your baby. i am willing to bet that you talk about the worries and argue with him in front of your baby. i think you said that you have a little girl. i can guarantee you that your little girl probably knows that something is wrong, or even knows what is going on. kids know more than you think they do. it is better for your baby to see you move on to a healthy relationship where you are teaching and showing her what love is instead of teaching her that what you are doing by staying with this man is acceptable and should be tolerated. otherwise she will tend to seek the same type of man that you have in her future. do you want that for her? in the end especially when there are kids involved, it all comes down to them. forget about staying with him for your own personal reasons. you will find someone else, and be happy. your baby deserves to be around a happy, healthy relationship, not one where there is constant fighting and mistrust. --- amy
Getting a job is not a good reason not to get
married, He's lying.
Also she is lying to herself, 2 to 3 times a year, is not a relationship.
--- Theron
What can you expect from a guy who dumped you when you were pregnant?! If you couldn't controle him when you were physically together, what can you expect now with all the distance between you two? --- Serini Michelle
aagrehbgaethteh --- feefegvfeww
Loula should definately dump this dude...He obviously cares more about some sex with another bitch than you and your baby.No woman should want or need a peice of shit bastard like him. he obviously hasn't learned not to cheat on you and more than likely isn't going to once a man cheats never again will he stop...So forget him and tell him to save all his lies for someone else this time.. --- Vannah
I know where Loula is comming from. --- Dawn
I notice that Loula doesn't say (even once) that she loves this man. That speaks to me louder than anything she actually says. Evidently, she doesn't really care if he is with her or not, just as long as he isn't with her and seeing someone else at the same time. There is no real relationship here. She should take her two month old child, and get on with her life and try to find out what having a real relationship means. As for what to tell him: tell him to stay in the other country and leave you alone!!! --- Stephanie
Dump him? Who are you kidding? You're not with him at all! You live in different countries, for crying out loud! You see each other only a couple times per year! You CAN'T dump him, because you're not WITH him.
Of course he's with other women. No one can or should get by with sex only two or three times a year. But that's not the issue, is it?
--- No Body
He cheated on you!! That's enough right there to help you decide what to do. You shouldn't have to worry about him lieing right now because you should of dumped him a long time ago. If a guy cheats once he's more than likely going to do it again. If you have a feeling of it then you're probably right! --- Tammy
Find out first how you can blackmail him.. Say, if you sleep with your teacher, he will get fired if the school finds out; or, may be he cheated on taxes?!
Then, if it doesn't work -- dump. --- danielle
Loula, Speaking as someone who has been "the other woman", he will continue to cheat on you if he wants. When i aksed my lover his reason for cheating on his girlfriend, his response was...."i dont know". If you can handle a male who lives his life with "i dont know why i cheat on you"... then please continue. But you'd be an idiot to stay with him. Men who cheat are not dogs, they honestly "dont know". They dont have a clue... as such, you should not subject yourself to their ignorance of life.
Whats more, is that a man who cheats, and lies about it, basically says that he will DO ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF TROUBLE....
its unfortunate that people cheat on their partners, but i think its a MORE of a tragedy that their partners continue to stay with them. Wake up and smell the coffee.... --- "Anon"
i think that she should dump him because she is too far away from him, and if she doesnt get to see him that much, and she still has a lot of stress because of the relationship, then why stay? --- verity
this relationship is not in her best interest, she is just being used and abused, she needs to dump his ass but good! :)liar liar liar,pants on fire...LOL --- Lola
He is playing her for a fool. Eventually he will leave her. Perhaps he feels guilty so he hangs on for the childs sake, but he`s a two timing man and will always be. --- Dave
Relationships, of any kind, should be based on commitment. When committed there is a one-directional drive to give your all to the relationship.
This guy's is committed to his own self interest. problem being, he is a "four Star" jerk. In other words, being committed to the relationship, means that he would be focussed on Loula and child; doing everything to protect, help,nurture and love them.
"Why" does he lie. Why does anyone lie? To get the advantage over the other person(s)he is involved with. It is to gain power over the situation, by keeping Loula guessing and for the boyfriend to continue not holding up his end of the relationship.
Good luck, Loula --- Nancy Noel
cos i wanna go out wiv him and i dont want you interfereing nemore he told me he prefers me neway!!!!!! --- jess
The only way to really "be" with him and not have to wonder is to move where he is or vice-versa. then Stay on his butt!! You guys have a kid and there is no excuse for him to spend the majority of his leisure time with anyone except you and the baby!! If he is sincere then this should be no problem, but if he starts to complain and act up then you will know "what time it is". Lay down the law with your guy. Don't turn into Superbi**h, but let him know on no uncertain terms that you 2 are together, no women, no running the street, no disrespectful "curfew violations". Because in due time, when you feel you can trust him again, he should be able to go out alone for short periods of time. I know i may sound like a tyrant but this is not about running your guys life. It's about making him do what he's suppossed to do in the first place;be faithful, treat you and the baby well, and grow up. You guys are supposed to be together most of the time anyway. Try to keep things fun and interesting. In my opinion you guys need to be in the same city so you can spend time together and bond. Where he goes you and/or baby should be able to go without a problem. Find a good sitter so you guys can go out. --- mavis irving
hes a cunt --- andrew
I think you should let him go because he has totally disrespected both you and your child. Trust me if this man can cheat on you while you are carrying something so prescious and a part of him, he definitely will cheat since you all are so far away. My current boyfriend cheated on me before and I left him. He had gotton a girl pregnant without my knowing it. By the time I found out we had already gotten back together and I forgave him. Well while this girl was carrying his child he had her convinced that the two of them were together and I was just an old friend. Well I made him choose and of course she is now out of the picture, but there is always doubt in my mind that he is doing something he has no business. I say if you're strong enough to leave him alone (unlike myself) then you should. When a man or woman cheats they tear down a trust foundation that was built with time and love in the duration of the relationship. Once that trust has been broken it will never be the same. It's always a thought in the back of my mind whether or not he is or will mess around with someone else, or worse, if I become pregnant will he leave me like he left her or cheat on me like he cheated on her. If you're strong enough to save yourself that headache by all means do it! As soon as I quit being a sucker for love I'm out of there too! Nickki --- Nickki
because if he can't commit to her now he never will and if she feels that she can't trust him then why stay,he has already cheated once whats stopping him from cheating again? --- "Anon"
This man is like mad cow disease: you dont want that beef...nuff said, buest of luck & remember girls we deserve to be caressed, loved, & respected NEVER fall for the one who lies once (that is more than enough). --- krissy-chris
This man is like mad cow disease: you dont want that beef...nuff said, buest of luck & remember girls we deserve to be caressed, loved, & respected NEVER fall for the one who lies once (that is more than enough). --- krissy-chris
This man is like mad cow disease: you dont want that beef...nuff said, buest of luck & remember girls we deserve to be caressed, loved, & respected NEVER fall for the one who lies once (that is more than enough). --- krissy-chris
Listen girl, having a baby w/a guy means nothing! I knew a guy for awhile that got a 19 year old chic preggers & he's 23. Anyways while she was close to having her baby (i mean weeks away), he be flirtting a storm up w/me asking me to lunch & touching my (on the rear), he was being playful but come on! One thing is that this guy was honst & wouldn't mess w/a guy who has a baby's mommma. But not everyone is liek that your man must have lied & denied or this girl has no moral values. Either way, you desrve much better. peace. --- kristal
He's got no job,has children with two other women, and lives in another country? And you see him two to three times a year? Cheating seems pretty secondary to me. The reasons above are enough to leave him. You deserve more. Anybody deserves more. --- Tessa
Two or three times a year Get a grip. This is not a relationship who knows she might have his second child Has she considered child support --- anon
RIGHT NOW I'M GOING TROUGH SOMETHING SIMILAR. MY BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING ON ME WITH ANOTHER WOMAN AND REFUSES TO TELL ME WHO! IT'S VERY DIFFICULT TO KNOW FOR A FACT THAT YOUR MATE IS BEING UNFAITHFUL AND THEY STAND IN YOUR FACE AND TELL LIE AFTER LIE. I SOMETIMES THINK MEN DON'T HAVE COMPASSION NOR WILL. IT TAKES A HELLUVA PERSON TO BORE A CHILD!! --- carmen 26
Come on. These type of relationships do not work! --- pochemo nyet
She should dump him because even though they got married, He could have married another man in the other country. He could have been making other kids. If he avoids answering her questions, she should stop asking him, and let him feel as she feels now; in a hurtful way. --- M. Guerrero
I heard the same story my husband said he was away working of course he was ... working on another woman and another life without me! Life has a funny way of letting you know something is wrong and you know in your heart he is not being honest with you and he will never be for games are all he knows how to play and lies he knows how to tell. I have lived this way too long our 4th Anniversary is tomorrow and I heard my husband is on his way home I am not sure what for as he has not talked to me since he knows that I found out the truth about his game so it should be interesting, though I am not looking forward to it at all. I am to the point where I now just want this marriage over and my life back it is time for my life to begin without him and to have a life that is good and love that someone is worth my giving to as well as receiving from. A new life! As you too Loula should consider for I am 45 and if I can start over so can you. Good luck and may the Angels watch over you! --- Vickie L Ramirez
It is soo obvious he is a lying. When I was in the military, me and my husband were apart for 9 months. He told many lies, too. Some men aren't worth the women they are with. Dump him girl. You'll feel better in time. I got some dirty baggage to dump, too.smile. Keep your head up. --- Mitzi
one word "losser" if you stay with him you will all you are doing is puring more salt on a open cut, loss him and find a real man that truly love' youif he truly loved you he would have never cheated on you --- private
Because leopards cannot change their spots. --- Sylvia Sturgis
I had someone like that for 5 years. It will never change no matter what he says. The fact that you two live away from each other gives him more freedom to run around and he will use the excuse that "you are not around enough" so he can cheat more. Get rid of him and find a man out there that will love you and your child and "respect" you. You will be so glad you did. It will be hard, in the beginning but, stay strong. There is a wonderful man out there waiting for you and your child. Go get him! :) --- Gina
Loula should dump him because, he cheated on her when they were together in the same place. Now that they are in two different countries that makes it worse! --- Esther Blyden
cus hes fulla shiot
--- Sean
Are you dumb girl or what? You must be pretty desperate to hang around and depend on this guy. He's a loser and you don't know any better. Your main concentration should be on your child. Forget about him and pursue interests or relationships that would benefit you and your baby. --- Shou
Beside all the obvious shit with him being a cheat and adding nothing to her life...he's in a different country Loula and you hardly ever see gim. That's rubbish....what's the point! You'd get more support from a garden gnome. If you dumped him would you really even notice the difference... and would he? --- rosie
i think you should dump him because once a cheater always a cheater. And think about why he isnt with those other kids he has's moms! He couldnt get along with them. THen there must be something wrong with him. Just think hard about how he treats you and if he really is right for you. You could find someone else that is a whole lot better than him believe me --- laurie
I think she should break it off because from the way it sounds, he can't be trusted. It must be hard enough living in two different countries, but to have to deal with lieing and cheating on top of that is rediculous. Loula needs to ask herself if this guy is really worth it. There are better men out there that won't cheat. Keep that in mind. --- April
He is not onest with you yoy have to think for your futer and be strong on your life and life is
going on dont think Girl go head . --- "Anon"
From what I know about people, whether they're male or female if they cheat on you once they'll do it again.
I have had many friends and relatives including my father who have cheated on their partners.
As soon as their partners find out, they begin to beg for forgiveness and swear they''ll never cheat again but when things calm down they just do it again and again.
Dump him and find someone who will treat you right, the way you deserve to be treated. --- Martin R.
Well, obviously Loula should drop him but I was to leave a message for the KIM from the other side of the form. There is a page at this site under the ADVICE button called "How Can I Tell If My Boyfriend Is Lying To Me?" -- Read that!!! You have to trust your insides. Your insides tell you the truth!! Your man LIES!!!!! --- Sheila
History always repeats itself. He is NOT a man of his word. Remaining with someone who lies and continues distructive behaviour will only continue to hurt the other party. --- Tom Thomas
I think she should let him go because she's going to drive herself insane worrying about what he's doing, especially with the both of them being so far apart from each other. Let him be a father to his child if anything but don't stress yourself because you must be healthy to take care of that little girl. --- Tomarsha
He does not respect you--this is about taking care of youself and your child. You stay--he play(s)!! Love yourself--dump the pig!! --- "Anon"
I think that if you have any bad feelings whatsoever about this situation,then you should definitley dummp this guy.
I had a recent situation where the guy I had been going out with for two years I do believe, wich he will never admit.
But I honestly can say that usually when you think a guy is cheating nine times out of ten you are going to be right.
Women usually tell the truth eventually if they really care
about a man, men can keep anything inside, even if they are lieing to you. Most men I have dated in the past are extremely irrogant, or liars. I decided to take a little breakn away from men for a little while. I hope this can help you in some manner, I just got off of work not to long ago and I am very tired so what I say may sound a little twisted. Anyways, I hope that I could help you. --- Melissa Beyer Carleton , Michigan99
N.America9
I think that if you have any bad feelings whatsoever about this situation,then you should definitley dummp this guy.
I had a recent situation where the guy I had been going out with for two years I do believe, wich he will never admit.
But I honestly can say that usually when you think a guy is cheating nine times out of ten you are going to be right.
Women usually tell the truth eventually if they really care
about a man, men can keep anything inside, even if they are lieing to you. Most men I have dated in the past are extremely irrogant, or liars. I decided to take a little breakn away from men for a little while. I hope this can help you in some manner, I just got off of work not to long ago and I am very tired so what I say may sound a little twisted. Anyways, I hope that I could help you. --- Melissa Beyer Carleton , Michigan99
N.America9
I think that if you have any bad feelings whatsoever about this situation,then you should definitley dummp this guy.
I had a recent situation where the guy I had been going out with for two years I do believe, wich he will never admit.
But I honestly can say that usually when you think a guy is cheating nine times out of ten you are going to be right.
Women usually tell the truth eventually if they really care
about a man, men can keep anything inside, even if they are lieing to you. Most men I have dated in the past are extremely irrogant, or liars. I decided to take a little breakn away from men for a little while. I hope this can help you in some manner, I just got off of work not to long ago and I am very tired so what I say may sound a little twisted. Anyways, I hope that I could help you. --- Melissa Beyer Carleton , Michigan99
N.America9
He a dirty dog and nobody should be treated like that. There's too many people in the world for her not too find someone else. --- chocolate cutie
hello....common sense! A relationship is built on trust. It is obvious there is none. "You are only a reflection of the person you are with." he is obviously insecure with himself as an individual. You, in turn, are as well. But if this is the way you like to be treated because you 'love' him, more power to you. After all, it is your life. --- "Anon"
i think you should dump him. long distance relationships are hard enough as it is, let alone when one or more of the people involved doesn't trust the other. your child would be better off being raised in a single family life rather than with two parents, one of whom is a lying, cheating dog. best of luck. --- pixiefrost
I think you should leave him. Do you want your little girl growing up thinking lying and cheating are ok things to do? --- Amanda
Look girl, you should totally dump him. For one he is just a total jerk, I mean the guy made you pregnant and he won't even act like he cares about you or th baby. And pluss he like lives in a different country, and those long relationships hardly ever work. So you should like sooo totally dump him............. --- Bertha
He's manipulating and fooling you. You are worth more than that. Get some help and find a nice person to be your spouse. --- Rahlyns
You need to DUMP HIM!! You have a child to think about. You dont want your child to grow and think it is ok for women to be treated so disrespectfullly. Please if not for you, for your child. --- Amelia
What is there to dump? Of course he's cheating, why wouldn't he? You never see each other. Find someone who is local and available to you and take him to court for child support. --- Barbara
You wanna be with someone like that for the rest of your life??? Puh-leeeeeeezzzzzz --- Maria
Long-distant relationships never work out.. quit wasting your time, try having a real relationship...there more fun, excitng and definintely more sex!!! --- susie
first of all he's living in another country. ever hear that old saying "out of sight out of mind?"
you would be better off breaking it off. You need someone who is by your side and not as far away as possible. Believe me a man cannot be monogamous if you're not near. He is cheating. You need to dump him right away. --- maria
He is like a dog, a territorial pisser, a selfish bastard!!! You can do better than that A-Hole. --- Jen
If he's cheated once, he'll cheat again. Dump the loser and find yourself a real man. --- Stephanie
This whole situation sounds screwy -- I don't understand why you would even THINK about staying with a guy who fooled around on you while you were pregnant. You hardly sound intelligent enough to surf the web much less take care of a child. Unplug your computer and use birth control!! --- Janie
This is a test
--- test
Karen's replies will go here.
--- Lies People Tell
PLEASE CLICK REFRESH OR RELOAD IF YOU DO NOT SEE YOUR ADDITION
I want to leave my job without giving notice. The last time I
tried to quit, my boss and his boss talked me into staying. It's a hard move and
relocation to a new city so anyone with a little effort can talk me into staying. I need a
good lie as to why I could not give two weeks notice. Can you help?
-- Matt
Dear Matt,
A good lie always lives a little in the truth. For instance, "Oh, hey,
listen, guys, I'd normally give you two weeks notice but my mom, (aunt,
great aunt, god-mother etc.) just had a hip replacement surgery in Buffalo
(insert city of your choice) and I've got to go take care of her while she
recovers."
Or you could be cruel: "Listen, guys, they're offering me three times as
much in Philly. I'd be a fool if I don't leave right now."
But the best alternative is to take responsibility for the fact that you
are making a choice. That's all you are doing, man. It's just a choice.
You don't even have to justify it to them by telling them why this move is
the best for you. When they start to close in on you, trying to manipulate
you with whatever techniques they have used before, just stand up for
yourself: "Listen, I'm giving you two weeks notice and I am moving on." If
they persist, pleading for you to stay, just look them in the eyes and say:
"No."
Stand up. Take responsibility for your actions with pride.
This is embarrassing so
please just use my first name and stuff. And DON'T put my e-mail address up there
but I have a lie that I need some help with. I'm a nineteen year old guy going to a
Community College in the Mid West. I never had a girl friend before and so I got
this girlfriend but I was too afraid to do anything more than kiss her. I would take
her out to see movies and stuff. We saw the Titanic movie together and she was
sniffling and crying and once she reached over and put her arm around me and kissed me on
the cheek. I was totally scared. I know it sounds stupid so please don't make
fun of me.
I told my friends that I
didn't know how to do anything with her. I wanted to touch her breasts and make out
and stuff but I didn't know what to do. This is the lie: They told me that chicks
want it as bad as guys and that I should just do anything I wanted to with her.
Well, one night while I
was kissing her goodnight like I always do, I reached down and stroked her breast.
She slapped me really hard in the face and told me to fuck off really loudly.
People came out of the doors in the dorm to see what was going on. I was so
embarrassed.
Here's my question: I
think I know what they told me was a lie. Girls don't want it as much as guys and
you shouldn't just do whatever you want to. But she's a really nice girl and I want
to make things like they were again but she won't talk to me and never returns my calls.
What should I do?
You already know your
so-called friends lied to you. People are vicious and they are jealous of innocence
because theirs has been squandered. Your friends thought it would be funny to watch
you alienate this girl. Well, it wasn't funny for you, was it?
The only way to get out of
this problem is to be nakedly honest with her. If you didn't ever tell her that she
was your first girlfriend, you must get that message to her now. Try a note in
flowers, or a letter or even an e-mail. I'd go with the flowers, they have helped me
out of some pretty gigantic blunders that I have made with women. Chances are pretty
good that she knew you had no experience with women anyway. But that doesn't excuse
you acting like a dunce and groping her tits. She will tell you when the time is
right for that kind of thing.
