Posted by Detective Martin on March 08, 2002 at 10:43:14:
In Reply to: Lived a lie for 2 1/2 years, need help.... posted by Anonymous on March 07, 2002 at 12:42:45:
I've been reading this website with interest for the past several years. I deal with lies and liars all day every day as part of my work. I've never wanted to write in to this site until I read about you -- you're only seventeen. While it would be difficult to bring a case and prosecute this woman who has done this to you, I know that she has broken the law. And perhaps she doesn't need to be prosecuted but she certainly needs counseling. Without a doubt. It is ver easy to get a seventeen year old boy to fall in love with you if you are a forty year old woman. she should be ashamed of herself. Absolutely.
Do not worry about her and her situation. she is an adult and needs to be responsible for herself. You are still a kid and need to think about yourself first and foremost.
And about this other turkey on the site who laughed about how your problem is so much grander than his -- forget idiots like that. If he needs to feel good about himself by belittling other people he is not worth the time it takes to think of him.
Good luck and follow your mom's advice!!
: I just found out yesterday that my gf lied to me about her entire life. we have had an online relationship for 2 1/2 years now, and i never expected this. i am 17 years old and already i have been planning my life to fit with hers so that we can be together. she told me she was 19, and i didnt think that was too bad an age difference. yesterday i found out she isnt 19. she is 40 years old and is MARRIED and has CHILDREN. ive seen plenty of pictures of her and she doesnt look 40 in any way, maybe alittle older than 19, but not 40. This is all so hard for me to believe and to accept. She is unhappy in her marriage, her husband does nothing but ignore her, and that is why she had a relationship with me. i dont think she had any malicious intent, and i know that she didnt want to her me. her feelings for me are genuine, as are mine for her. there was a time when she was going to leave her children and husband to be with me, and i know that isnt right. but now she knows she has to get a divorce because she cant live and be treated the way that she is. i am going to be her friend and her pillar of strength during this time because she needs it and i truly care about her. the problem is is that i love her with all of my heart, and even though i know i shouldnt i cant help but have feelings for her. we have said that we cant maintain a relationship given her age and her life, and although i know that this is almost certainly true, part of me wants it. i have always believed completely in true love, and i feel that is what i have. i feel like if we have that true love then things like that shouldnt matter. it sounds strange im sure but i feel that her and i were made for eachother, regardless of the 23 year age difference. i dont know what to do, i am so confused, so i am posting my story here to see what you all think. my parents are not one bit happy about any of this, my mom has been riding my ass and she absolutely hates her guts. she doesnt want me to ever talk to my now exgf again. i cant say that i blame her, but i cant deny my heart. im so confused, please give me your opinions. i love her with all of my heart, as she does me, but still...can / should / could we do this, or is it doomed?