Posted by Robert on July 21, 2001 at 12:21:00:
In Reply to: Lie's posted by Liar on July 18, 2001 at 07:36:09:
: I am 30 year old married and mother of one child. I love my husband and son to end ...but I have a problem with lying over very little things and I do it very unconsiously. I have fallen in situations where I have lied and lied over again to cover the first lie. I desperately hate myself for this as I know I have hurt the man who loves me many times. I don't know what to do and how to save my marriage?? Please help me I am very desperate
Dear Liar,
What do you consider "lies about very little things"? I cannot believe that you would tell anybody anything "unconsciously," unless you are in a coma, talk in your sleep, or, perhaps, hypnotized. Do you fear what telling the truth might mean to your loved ones and friends? Do you tell lies habitually from some childhood ingrained defensive mechanism to avoid painful memory experiences? Maybe, if so, being hypnotized by a qualified psychiatrist, could release you from the painful experiences, allowing you to face the truth, to quit telling lies of any size. Lies may start small, but they do have a way of growing to be quite large. Not all white lies nor whoppers need be painful. Exaggerations, for example, might be fanciful, humorous, tongue-in-cheek ways to express your truthful feelings in a relatively painless way.
I detect that you have created issues between you and your husband and child that are blown out of all proportion, not seen as exaggerations, but as dis-honest renditions of events, that mushroom out of control with each re-telling. The truth may hurt far less than the covering up lies. Save your marriage and child's belief system by getting the help that you need to find a better, more tactful way of dealing with the truth, fully conscious, aware of the conseqences that the telling of lies might bring.
Sincerely,
Robert