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My Boyfriend's Car Lie
from: Ed (I'm Not Bitter) P.
I had a lousy job when I was 20 or so selling children's books door to door to businesses. In those days I actually talked to people voluntarily, and the job gave me an opportunity to chitchat with beautiful secretaries. Once (and let me emphasize the word "Once" because I don't want to give the impression that these things happen to a loser like myself often) I managed to get one of these woman to have lunch with me. The lunch with her didn't go great, but it wasn't a disaster. In my eyes, it was a typical mediocre meeting with a woman. When I dropped her off at her job, I don't remember what I was about to say, but at the time, I probably would've asked her for a date regardless of the unlikelihood of her saying yes. She got a shocked look in her eyes, pointed at the opposite side of the parking lot and said "Oooh, that's my boyfriend's car!" She was very shocked, very very shocked. It's people like her that go on to win academy awards. I felt like saying to her that she didn't have to make up stories about boyfriends, that she could've just said, "It was real," and walked. I may be a loser and desperate, BUT I'M NOT A SLOBBERING PERV THAT STALKS WOMEN. WHAT DOES SHE TAKE ME FOR? I didn't say anything about her phantom boyfriend. Just said good-bye and left.
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