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Lies Our Parents Told Us

My parents consistently preached morality and truth-telling to their children, but oh, how they lied to us.  My mother, in particular--by all appearances the most guileless goodie-two-shoes on the planet--excelled at the art of lying to us.  Some of her tried and true deceptions that I heard repeatedly: "Don't make a face like that; if a strong wind comes along, it'll freeze it forever.   

And, for years, every Christmas we'd be shopping in stores and I'd ask her how 'come there were so many Santa Clauses hanging around everywhere. "Oh, those are all his helpers," she'd always say. "He sends them down because the real Santa Clause is busy up in the North Pole getting ready for Christmas."

My personal favorite, though, I don't remember hearing because I was too young, but my mother loves to tell it even now, when I'm in my '40s.  Like many toddlers, I sucked my thumb constantly, and my mother couldn't get me to stop. Once, I was sick with a virus and threw up violently.  Afterward, my mother said to me, "See?  That's what happens from sucking your thumb." Mom says I never sucked my thumb again.