Okay, now where was I? Oh yeah, so I'm getting off the airplane there in LAX and I'm feeling scared and insecure and I've sent him my picture so he'll recognize me when I get off the plane but I've got the total Humpa Lumpa fat lady waddling in front of me and I'm freaking out with nervousness.
Her bratty little snot noses are screaming their heads off and somebody who looks like Kareem Abdul Jabar is breathing down my neck because Humpa Lumpa can't make her fat ass move any faster and I realize I'm totally freaking out.So I just step over to the wall of the hallway and let everyone go by me. Mr. Rockstar thought that was the coolest thing in the world, seeing me walk out through that door totally alone and unrushed by the crowd but I didn't do it to look cool. I did it because I was freaking out and I needed to take a second to relax before I'd be meeting my hero (yeah, right) Mr. Rockstar.
So every one passes by me and, like I said, I walk through that door all by myself and in the throng of people hugging people Mr. Rockstar walks up to me with a Cardinals baseball cap and a fake beard and says, "Hey, I was afraid you had changed your mind."
This time I tried to be cool and I said, "I can't stand crowds."
And he said, "See, there's something else we have in common."
And, you know what? Since I'm putting this up here, I'm going to be totally honest about everything. My therapist says the only way to heal after the kind of abuse he put me through is to be completely honest and so that's what I'm gonna be: completely honest.
Yeah, I wanna see pictures of hot, naked chicks!
