Am I Being Lied To?

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Am I Being Lied To?

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Sometimes our lover is so sweet that we can not tell if they are lying. We have suspicions and we might hint about them, but our lovers always know exactly what to say to ease our minds.

While we wait for the other shoe to drop.

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AM I BEING LIED TO?

I think My boy friend is seeing some behind my back and hes already done it before but I think hes sorry? I just have this gut feeling hes lying and I don't know why I have it if hes not? we barley see each other and we don't go to the same school the girls that he was seeing a while ago live in his area and one goes to his school he says he doesn't talk to either one of them but I think the one thats not going to his school with him is picking him up all the time to hang out but he always nice to me and crys when I talk about break us and he acts like hes sorry? I dunno what to believe? w/b please
--- Jackie

My boyfriend cheated on me in August. It's now November. I cried last night because I thought about "her", and my boyfriend, Garret, again. When we really started to get serious, he told me that he'd cheated on recent girls in previous relationships, like 8 times. (That was with one girl.) He told me he could never cheat on me, and that he loved me to much, and when he finally did, he blamed it on the alcohol. He cried about it afterwards, and then i felt guilty for being mad at him, but I still feel insecure. He still tells me he loves me and that he could never do it again, and that he was so stupid, but when he goes out, he drinks once in a while. So I'm stuck, and I don't know if he's done it again, and just been afraid to tell me, but I don't know if I can believe him as much as I did. I'm confused and scared, and I'm sorry if none of this makes sense to you.
--- Dena

I liked this gurl but she liked my friend so i stoped liking her. Then she started to like me while i liked someone else. And now she says she doesnt like me. She never told me if she liked me but my friend asked her and she said she liked me and i dont know if the gurl i like likes me or is tell the truth.......I hope a girl answers this becuase boys dont know anything about this.. Unless they are gay..... Please tell me fast. I need to know. She is going to move in 2 years. So i want to make the best of the time i have.
--- Josh

My husband frequently speaks to his ex girlfriends but, when I try to have a decent conversation with him I get the cold shoulder. Either he is only listening and humoring me and saying nothing or he is completing my sentences with the wrong answer and telling me what I am thinking and it's not even close to being true. I had recently told him of a doctors appt that I had and he had been trying to reach me. It was apparent that he forgot. His words to me were, "what you did was between you and your GOD and he will handle the rest." Why not how did your doctor's appt go? He had forgotten and later lied and said he didn't when I confronted him with this info he said nothing. Just this morning he humbled himself to say is everything okay. I have recently stopped talking to him period because it is apparent that his priorities lie with someone else. Should I continue my silence or find a male friend of my own for some understanding?
--- zanonymous

I recently moved in with my boyfriend and we are so happy together, well at least I think we are. The problem is the last couple of nights hes hes been late coming home. In our past I had left him because we weren't getting the love that we needed from eachother. We then realized it was complete craziness without eachother. I need him. He seemed so wonderful to me. He stopped calling me wile he was at work.As I had said before hes been home late. Should I worry about him cheating, as if to get back at me?
--- Tiffany

my boyfriend always tells me that he loves me. Him and his ex- wife just got a divorce about a year ago. Could he really love me? we've only been together for 2 months.I want to know if he is lying.
--- Erin

My boyfriend is telling everyone that he dosen't feel anything anymore but I asked one of his friends and he didn't know so he talked to him and he said it's not true and he is having family problems and he is taking it all out on me and he's sorry,
--- Chelsea

HI i am Keri VanDyke and my boyfriend has lied to me in the past and he told me something today when he was at my house but when he said it he was lookin in to my eyes but after he said what he did he was upset and everything. i do not know what to do because i do not know if he was tellin me the truth about having sex before in the past because i mean he is 16 and i am 13 but i mean he has dated a lot of girls before in the past but he swore that he was not lieing but see he thinks that i trust he a lot but i mean how am i susposto trust him?? how do i know if he was lieing to me or not PLEASE HELP!!!!!!!!!!
--- Keri VanDyke

well hes the story ...theres this guy that i really really like and he told me that he felt the same about me and now people are tellin me that he likes another girl and i didn't really ask him about her but i asked him if he was just playing with my mind and he said no and that he really likes me and just wants to spend time with me and i am fallin for him so fast but i'm soo scared hes lying to me......hes wants me to go over to his house and i told him that i wasn't gonig over becuz he probably just wants to get some from me. u may think that this is just a stupid little teenage relationship but i don't please could u try ur best to give me some advie to be able to tell if hes lying to me or not i like him alot and i don't wanna end it foir no reason especially if he really does like me but i also don't wanna do something stupid with him if he is playing me .........please help me do the right thing thaks kayla

--- kayla

OK,my boyfriends name is Antwain,and my boyfriend has a cousin he hangs with all the time
named Brandon.The two of them are so close to each other.Brandon goes around screwin every gurl
he can get.And where theres Brandon,theres Antwain too.And when i went to Antwain to ask him if he was cheating on me with another gurl or whatever.And the reply was no.Now by him hanging around his type of enviornment,i would adleast think that there is somebody else.I mean this boy is so sweet and we use to go out 2 yrs ago.And now were back together and he say he has changed alot.And i was wantin to know does the change have anything to do with him liein or cheating on me.
--- Taneka

How do i know if my boyfriend is cheating on me?

the thing is he lives in Fresno and i live in LA. and dont asl how we met...but he says he will never ever lie to me and will never do anything to hurt me but im thinkin to trust him, but should i?
--- Judy

A real basic question here.

How do I know if my girlfriend has stopped smoking?

She lied to me once before about the fact that she has quit, but I have mus suspicions, based on the fact that she has come home before smelling of smoke. She claimed that this was her work-mates smoke when she was chatting to them, a feasable answer, but I just want to be sure.

If she's not, great. If she is, then she should tell me, we have been totally honest thus far (apart from the above) and don't want that to stop.

So how can I tell? What are the signs?
--- Suspicious Tony

Ok well here is my story a few months back my e-xgirlfriend told me she was seeing someone but at the same time i to was seeing someone and the only reason why i was questioning it was because she supposedly broke up with him at exactly the same time as i broke up with the girl i was seeing. Well a few months went by and neither one of us dated until i met a girl a few weeks ago and we have been going out as friends just until we get to know each other and my ex-girlfriend somehow found out about her and know she is telling me that she has been seeing someone for the past three weeks so my only question is should i believe her and just forget about it or find some way to see if she is lieing to me again. I was also wondering if there was any possible wayi can find out she is lieing just by the way she acts around me or the way she talks to me or anything like that. Any information that you could give me would be helpful. Thanks
--- Ed

Is it true? Can it be??? Hmmmn, is it really true??? I hope someone can help me.
I was sent this email today, and while it technically is about something very dear to my heart, I am not sure if I am in the right forum... and I am not convinced I am being lied to.... Is it true--or not?

"Subject: Important regarding KFC ..... PLEASE READ

"KFC has been a part of North American traditions for many years. Many people, day in and day out, eat at KFC religiously. Do they really know what they are eating?

"During a recent study of KFC done at the University of New Hampshire, they found some very upsetting facts. First of all, has anybody noticed that just recently, the company has changed their name?

"Kentucky Fried Chicken has become KFC. Does anybody know why? We thought the real reason was because of the "FRIED" food issue. IT'S NOT! !
The reason why they call it KFC is because they can not use the word "chicken" anymore.

"Why?

"KFC does not use real chickens. They actually use genetically manipulated organisms. These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure.

"They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them. This is great for KFC
because they do not have to pay so much for their production costs. There is no more plucking of the feathers or the removal of the beaks and feet. The government has told them to change all of their menus so they do not say chicken anywhere. If you look closely you will notice this. Listen to their commercials, I guarantee you will not see or hear the word "chicken". I find this matter to be very disturbing.

"I hope people will start to realize this and let other people know. Please forward this message to as many people as you can. Together we make KFC start using real chicken again."
--- Mike

A few months after we were together, my boyfriend disappeared for a few days. He said he didn't cheat and was with only guys. A few months later I was told he cheated. He assured he didn't but the I found out later there was a girl involved.
--- Kat

I am married with children. My husband had an affair when my small children were 9months old. I left him for a year. He convinced me to return home because he wanted to make our marriage work and hes sorry, yada yada yada...I wanted to believe him and feel like I gave it my best shot (the marriage). He is a Gemini and I always told him that he would probably always need more than one woman in his life. Two years later I find out that he had yet another affair. He turned around a bought me a car and then took me on a trip to the Carribean. Things were fine when we came back home but then they resumed to normal. I feel a lack of intimacy and I dont feel loved. I feel betrayed and like I can never trust him again. Recently, he told me to go to the doctor because I should be sure I dont have any STD's. Meanwhile, I stressed to him that if he did not stop seeing this woman that our marriage was not going to work. He lies because in my heart I know he is still seeing her. If he weren't, why should I have to go to the doctor. Help!!!
--- Peaceful

I went out of town without my husband and a problem came up. When i returned i noticed that 2 condoms were replaced with 2 new ones. When I questioned my husband, he lied to me and said that he gave them to a friend, who was going to cheat on his wife, and if he bought them somewhere she would know. Well after a few days i found out that my husband made up that story becuase he did not want to tell me the truth. He said he was scared because he knew that the truth would have made me upset and would have started a big fight, and he was right, if in the beginning, he would have told me the truth i would have statred a fight. I am an extremely jealous wife and in all honestly get up set very easily over stupid things. The lie he told was.. He did not give the condoms to his friend instead He had his friends over from work and they were having drinks, playing pool, and getting in the hottub, and two stayed the night and had sex in our living room and that was the real reason the condoms were gone. Well now becuase he lied in the first place i now think that this is a lie also, and that he cheated on me. He has never lied before but is he lying? or am i being once again to jealous?
--- Amber

I was involved with a married man for over a yar, he is now divorced. Should I worry every time he sees her? They have kids and he gets them every other week. I hate it when she calls, I wonder what kind of conversations they have. Should I even believe it is really over? They were together for 10 years.
--- kick-me again

My girl friend is 8 months preganant. I was going out with her for only 1 month and she got preganant. One night in Nov I had plans to meet her at a bar after having her hair done. The day before she asked several times that after a few drinks if I was going to go home rather than come back to her place. This was the first time she ever asked this of me. At dinner she kept looking at her watch and then insisted on leaving by 8:30. I asked to come back to her place since she had her hair done and she said no. This was the first time I was not asked to come back to her place. I really think she planned on meeting someone that night. I asked her about this after finding out she was pregnant and she said she did ask me to come home with her and that I said no. She has said that since me she has not been with any one else. I find this hard to believe. Is she lying?
--- dave

I am very confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years. He is my first love my first everything. Recently I have suspected that he is lying to me. I accidently pressed his answering machine button when I was reaching for the phone. When he heard the machine go off he imediatly turned it off. I asked him what was on the machine that I couldn't hear? He said he just didn't want to hear all 15 messages play. We got in a fight about it, he got very defensive and upset that I wasn't trusting his honesty. I ended up never hearing the messages but later that night I went to his house and I noticed the messages were erased. What should I believe? Is my boyfriend lying to me? Is he cheating on me? Help!!
--- Kelly

My boyfriend will be on the phone talking to someone I think it is a girl, but he tells me that its a man, But I think he is lieing. But before I can get to the phone he will call his mother or cousin, I think he is trying to cover up the number. I am thinking about getting some kind of phone tap, or something what can I do? Oh when I am at work I think he talks to girls on the phone, I even think he has someone over, but I have no proof, its just a feeling, Iam even thinking about getting some kind of little camera to hide in my house. What can I do?
--- eve

My boyfriend and i have been going out for four months now. I just recently got AOL and i asked my boyfriend for his ex-grilfriends screen name. He of course refused and so i found it out on my own. I wanted to talk to her and get some background on her because i had my suspicions of him cheating on me with her. She told me that he still would talk to her. She even sent me and conversation they had had through chating and in it he would talk to her about going to her house to do certain things. He told me that he was just playing and wasn't really planing on doing anything with her. But i'm confused because she tells me a totally different thing than he tells me. Who's lieing?
--- Kerstin
Modesto, CA99 U.S.A9

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 8 months. A while ago I heard that he had cheated on me with his ex-girlfriend but he denys it. We tell each other that we love eachother but i don't believe him because he doesn't trust me. We usually break up--on and off usually for a day. He always wants me to spend every second of the day with him. He says he wants to because he loves me but I think that he thinks that I'm going to cheat on him. He also says that I cheat on him whenever I'm not with him. I'm just wondering if he's guilty for cheating on me because he thinks that I cheat on him.
--- patricia

I Was Betrayed by Julie Moskowitz and Sherry Hernandez
It happenned in December of 2001. I had introduced her to Sherry Hernandez, because I felt the need to introduce her to the LDS church. I saw signs of abuse in her children, and she wasnt cooking dinner for her own children. I had met Julie Moskowitz in 1998 in Apts in Chandler, my friend asked me to babysit for her, I said that I would. After 2 weeks of babysitting for her was enough because she hardly paid me, and she had a total disrespect for anyone. She was not trustworthy, staying out late, total disregard for me babysitting her. She still owed me money then and she still owes me now. I met her again when the new elementary school opened, she was not very friendly, she had bought a house out here, and we had 1 year before. She still looked the same, very unkept, and her children also. We exchanged phone numbers. But, I nver called, she showed up at my door halloween nite, and said I recognised your car. I let her in, we exchanged phone numbers again, had conversation, and then I got that fateful phone call. She said she was having problems with her babysitter, could you watch my children? Again, I said yes, she seemed OK. Well, same senario, she did it again, hardly paid me, I cooked dinner for her children every nite I babysat, and loved them. Her son had told me that Julie hardly ever cooked dinner for them, her son was abusive, and calling names to everyone saying "Dumb but", and other names all the time. Julie would not be home til late almost every nite, calling making excuses saying she stopped by her boyfriends, or friends house. She called me from a bar onetime, said her friend was having personal problems. she called again and again, making excuses. One nite her children had to spend the night because she couldnt make it until after 9pm, and this was a school nite. She used me, and still owes me money. I confided in one of my closest friends, Sherry Hernandez, about Julie and told her everything. After a while, Sherry called me and asked me if I would like to go with her to visit some ladies in the church, I did. When we left, noone was home, so I said like a faithful member of the church wanting to help somebody, let me introduce you to Julie. We went to her house, Julie was nice, acting her best trying to impress Sherry. You could smell the stink in her house. there was animal fecies all over, from kittens, and a dog she kept in while she was at work. The house was a wreck from an upkept MOM and unkept children. It was very concerning, her children would run around while she was at work, and Julie would call me alot at after 7PM, not knowing where her children were. Sherry gave Julie her number. Julie called her everyday, and literally took Sherry away from me. One of my closest friends, I saw slipping away from me into her hands. How could Sherry have anything to do with her? It was very strange. I had left my husband because of domestic violence for 2 weeks, and had him removed from the house. Two days after I arrived back, Julie called yelling accusing me of calling the CPS on her. And Sherry told her it was probably me! It was a terrible betrayal, my closest friend verses my arch enemy! Satan got the best of them! Sherry and Julie abandoned me after that, and fast became friends. I saw a side of Sherry I never knew before, she was just like Julie, always by her side at church. I sunk into a deep depression because of the betrayal. I couldnt understand why it happenned. Julie must haved said lies about me. I soon had gotten no more phone calls from Sherry. It was very strange, a terrible betrayal. Why didnt I see it before, the warning signs, I never heeded to them. And i am paying for it now. Now, April 30, 2002, I see Julie's neighbor across the street, at the school, she tells me that Julie found out who called the CPS on her. It was a Lady the next street over from Julie. And get this, Sherry gave Julie my single next door neighbors phone number, John, again she called John and started dating him. She showed up the very night I was starting school, the exact same time I was leaving, and knew I was going to school, bragging that she was going to school also. She was stalking me, it was scary. The flyers were missing out of our for sale tube for our house. I knew she had taken them. And the phone was ringing and hanging up all the time, I knew it was her. She again showed up at my next door neighbor's house, first her son showed up riding his bike and John following him in his truck? My daughter runs in and tells me that, how strange, what kind of game is being played? Then Julie parks her car blocking our truck, so we couldnt get out? What is going on? I told John to tell her to please move her car, and he tells me who's car is that? Game playing, stalking, you name it, what kind of person does this sort of thing? Now, the truth is out, after 5 months, is it going to stop? Depression and all, they are going to pay one way or another. God will get revenge. God is taken pictures Julie and Sherry and everyone else involved. My home teacher lived across the street, after the betrayal, he wouldnt speak to me, and gave me the cold shoulder. A terrible betrayal, and my friendships dwindled after that, what lies were being told? At least a half of dozen Morman friends wont speak to me anymore, why? Because of the lies that were said, the truth is unveiling now, Thankyou Lord. I even had a dilussion of faith because a lady gave me a book to read about anti-mormanism. I was so confused thru all the betrayal, I had went to another church because I was so hurt and confused, and I was too hurt to go to the Morman Church because I was afraid I'd see those two terrible people who betrayed me, they hurt me so bad. I still cant go to the church without feeling hurt, for fear of seeing those two terrible people who betrayed me.
Does it look like I have been lied too?

--- "Anon"

i just broke up with my boyfriend cuz he's always going places with his *friends* and he doesn't tell me what he does or if they are girls or guys he always tell me i don't need to know
--- "Anon"

We've been togheter for a month he both me many beautiful things he treat me like a queen for a month we had so many plans for this summer but 2 days ago he stoped calling and he's no where to be found!IS he comming back?Were all his words lies just to get it?
--- Mary Anna

My husband and I have not got on for some time. In the past he has gone to see someone he used to live with. Next it was blue movies hidden in the boot of the car. Next it was prostitutes. We moved to a different country to put the past behind us and start afresh. I didn't particularly like the house we bought but he said it was an investment for the future and we didn't always have to live here. He knows I am unhappy but has now started telling friends nasty things about me and going to see them behind my back and putting me down to them. One friend told me that he was trying to drive me crazy. He has phoned my doctor three times in the past 4 weeks. No idea what he has said. He downloaded porn onto the computer and then denied he did it said he did not know how it got their and that it was all in my head. I found out this was downloaded when I was at work. Can someone please tell me why this man is doing this? please please help.
--- mae

well i have been thinking for about 1 1/2 years now that my husband cheated on me,here are the signs and reasons why i feel this way,1st is i found a pair of womans underware in my car,2 he did not come home from work till 4:30 in the morning he got off work at 11:00,said he was with guys from work at a bar,3 have had many people tell me he did cheat on me with the girl i suspected,i have asked him many times if he cheated he says no and has sworn on many htings and says he would tell me because i am torturing him with it,i feel all the signs are there but i take his word for it and then sit and cry and go over all the signs and i know he did but i cant face it till i hear it from him,any advise would be good,i need to know the truth and dont know how to get it from him,we have 3 kids and have been together for 11 years ,married for 3 1/2 we are 28 and have alot of years ahead of us i do not want to waste my most important years on a man who is unfaithful,please guide me in a direction of truth
--- chrystal

My boyfriend has been to my house and been seeing me alot on weekends. He is so cute,sweet,and romantice.
--- Randee Kurtz

my best friends boyfriend knows how to turn me on and keeps doing and we get so close when i know what will happen and stop it in time but he keeps saying he will split up with her and a few days later we could get together i know its hurtful for her but i cant go on like this he says he loves me more then her but he keeps getting off with her and feeling her when she is around but when she goes he turns to me and know my weeknesses i can only fight it for so long will he split up with her or is he bullshitting plz help me he keeps feeling me and turning me on i fight it but fighting cant last long
--- KASSIE

My now ex-husband of 4 mos. wants to come home and go to counseling to 'do whatever it takes to have a 'healthy' relationship with his 'wife.'"

He gambles from time to time, I've caught him in about 200 lies in the last 5 yrs and that's the main reason for the divorce as I couldn't take it any longer and he had me feeling 'guilty' as it was always twisted to somehow be my fault for his actions.

I've learned that I was insecure to allow him to emotionally abuse and convince me that I was always at fault for his behavior but it was all so subtly done under the 'guise' of what he called love.

He is immature and was raised in a physical, sexually, violently abusive manner and lived on the streets most of his life since 10 yrs. old.

It's the only way he knows and understands and is familiar with.

We all understand this now. He's now 36 yrs. old, its about time he grew up and has admitted to lying about $, etc.

He says it's always gotten him what HE wanted and the manipulation has worked all his life.

When I first saw him after 3 mos. of no contact, he cried like a baby on my shoulder, said he's never loved anyone like me (I'm sure he believed this and knowing I'm an open, compassionate person) he let out his hurt from the divorce like he was releasing his very soul.

I tend to wonder if this was an act as in the last 4 wks we've spoken daily, he tends to still demonstrate his SELF serving attitude, but he's careful about it.

Deep, WAY deep down, he has a good heart.

My real problem is, when someone has been a pathological liar about just about EVERYTHING, can the injured spouse LEARN to trust again - is this possible??? and can the other spouse EARN trust???

He has a very very hurtful, annoying behavior that I just cannot tolerate....

At random, whenever it suits him, out in public, he sees a female (you never know WHEN this is going to happen); he begins to try to attract her attention; once he gets it, thru body language, eye contact and silent msgs., to the outsider watching (usually me!!!) he ignores his 'wife' and acts like she doesn't exist - like he's single, not married; and begins to act provacatively and sexually towards this woman! She doesn't seem to care if he's married or not and rtns the behavior - it looks like 'there's something going on between the two of them' and that they want to jump each other's bones right there!!

Its like they're both doing a silent, but visual sexual 'dance' with each other while I used to sit, watching this, confused at first until I put together after the shock, what's really going on.

When I interrupt him, and my ex and I leave the place, I confront him on this.

His answers???

1) I wasn't doing anything wrong..
2) I didn't do ANYTHING..
3) It's something I've always done and half the time, I don't even know I'm doing it..
4) It didn't mean anything..
5) I was just being friendly and we were just TALKING..

and you'll really like this one...

6) It's just the way I am, I can't help it. I have no control over it, I don't know why I do it and you'll just have to live with it.

PLEASE DO, SIR, GIVE ME YOUR VARIED OPINIONS!!! Hah!!

The day he moved out of the house, I saw a girl's beaded necklace hanging from his rear view mirror in his work truck as he worked in Calif. 3 days a week. We live in Nevada.

I asked him what it was, he's so good, he tried to convince me it was an 'air' freshner.

He's since agreed to pay and take a lie detector test to prove to me he never was unfaithful.

States he doesn't know why he lies, he just does cuz that's what he's always done all his life.

SO, what do YOU think???? I'd love to hear your input.

I told him my struggle is HOW DO I KNOW if he's telling me the truth and how do I know he's lying??? NO MATTER WHAT COMES OUT HIS MOUTH???

can this be corrected and most of all LEARNED in this situation?? Is counseling worth it and can it be fixed??

Am I wasting my time??? Estranged faithful wife... Thank you.

Kat (I still don't believe that was an air freshner and I'm considering having him take that test - how effective is it anyhow??)

--- Kathie

my g/f says she does not fill good but she want tell me whats wrong ???
--- BOB

My boyfriend is really close friends with this girl. They've been close for about 2 years. I've only seen them together a few times, but when I have, they act like they're the ones that are boyfriend/girlfriend, not him and me. He insists that there's nothing going on, but I'm not so sure. There have been times when he's been out just with her, there have been times when I think she stays over at his place, & I'm pretty sure that he's cheated on me at least once with her, yet he denies it vehemently. He says that they were never an item, but I hear things to the contrary & I have found pictures of them together where it looks like they are more than friends - both before we began dating & since. Should I trust him or trust my nagging intuition?
Am I being lied to?
--- Shawna

A little long but please read and respond..thank you! :) Last night my boyfriend of 5 years was at my house and told me that he was working (he works outdoors) and saw 2 police officers nearby. He commented to the male police officer that his female partner had a "nice ass". The p.o. laughed and agreed with him. Next thing the female p.o. apporoaches my b.f. and tells him thanx for the compliment. He told that she asked if she could call him and he said he told her he didn't have a phone. Then she mentioned maybe she could call him at work because she the phone number on the side of the truck. He recounted to me that he kind of giggled and told her he guessed so but that they didn't really accept personal phone calls at work. (he says he told her this form the get-go) He says when he got to work he had a message from an officer so-and-so and a phone number with the days of the week the ofiicer was off. He had recently applied to nypd and claims he thought it was one of the recruiters calling him for an interview. So he called the # and then he says he realized it was her when a female answered. He says he asked her what was up and he tells me she (again)asked if she could call him at his job (again he says he told her he couldn't accept personal phone calls at work)Then I think he left out some stuff because he said she told him that he had her # and the days she was off and to call if he was interested. When I asked him why he told me this he said he didn't want me to possibly hear it from someone else and get mad at him. THEN he said he wanted to be honest with me about things. This coming from the man who spent the first year and a half of our relationship lying his ass off. I asked him where the # was, he said his locker at work. I asked him why didn't he throw it out he said he doesn't throw things out like that. He said he would. He said he didn't want to "hurt her feelings".I know that he very frequently comments on women's body parts to his male friends and co-workers and even to ME sometimes! He freely admits that he checks out everything on "THE MENU" but "DOESN'T ORDER". (but he admits he HAS cheated on his girlfriends in the past)I've even seen him checking out girls right in front of me. Thought I told him to cut it out. Not even going into his past..Am I wrong to think this kind of behavior is detrimental to OUR relationship? Even if he did tell me about the little minor thing with the female cop,,it FREAKED me out! I don't think he'll call her but it just made me think, Wow..he goes thru with the little charade to not "offend her". If it is was me he would've had a fit. He is a machoist Puerto Rican guy by the way. I don't know what to make of him. Is he lying? What is going on? Pleeeease advise! .....Will he cheat again just because he's "checking out the menu"?
--- Steel Sword

i've been lied to by many guys and believe me i didn'tbelieve them for one second but this guy he cried when he told me i love you he said he ment it and tears actually came outscared me i want to believe him but thenagain i don't what if he's like the others ? but he's nothing like them i tell myself he is so sweet almost perfect i don't know what to believe anymore what do i believe?
--- halloween

I hated being the other woman, but I was too weak to break it off, so when I moved out of town three years ago, I thought that that would solve my problem. My boyfriend, however, left his wife and followed me. That I think was when I truly fell in love with him. Now more than ever I want to get married. I have always hated the fact that I am only his mistress. He says he will marry me soon, so I ask constantly when will you get your divorce? All I get is the run around - excuses on top of excuses. What do you guys think? If he's here with me,then why is he holding on? why am i still his mistress?
--- mistress

I WAS JUST WONDERING WHY DO MEN LIE? MY FIANCE CALLED ME EARLIER AND TOLD ME HE WAS ABOUT TO GO TO SLEEP. I CALLED HIM AN HOUR LATER AND HE'S GONE. I ALREADY THREATENED HIM ABOUT OUR RELATIONSHIP AND HE KEEPS ON LIEING. WHY?
--- nicole

How do you tell if some one is telling lies? What body language should you look out for?
--- Teabag

I became concerned when on Friday I was checking my wife's email and found the following message between her and a co-worker. I questioned her on the matter and she said that the email contents were only inuendo's and nothing serious and that she and this other person were only joking.

Scenario: Apparently, a group of co-workers went to lunch and the conversation centered on Grape Nuts which some people find good when crunchy (hard) or soggy (soft). My wife made a comment that she likes them hard and the person to her left not hearing the whole conversation took a dirty take on the subject. By the way, she had a salad for lunch, hence the reference to salad.
After lunch, she says she went to the co-worker's office to explain how embarrassed she was about what she said. She says she winked at him and said that he probably got a rise out of sitting between two females at lunch.

She insists that there is nothing going on between them but that she thinks this guy has a crush on her. She is upset that I am making a big deal out of this email and says she would never jeopardize our relationship. Should I suspect more or let this issue die?

**********MESSAGE***********************
Male: YES, IF YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL BE THERE.

-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: GRAPE NUT

Female: You mean what I said in so little words......Hey I think we'll be going over
to Rock Bottom shortly. Are you game? If you want to see me there you'll
have to book because once 5:15 hits I'm out the door.

-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: GRAPE NUT

Male: YOU THOUGHT THAT WAS HARD. YOU HAVE NO IDEA, WHEN YOU LEFT MY OFFICE TILL
KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE. THINKING ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID BEFORE YOU LEFT.

-----Original Message-----
Subject: RE: GRAPE NUT HARD. MMM

Female: Sorry about the wait on the reply. The salad was of medium firmness.
Although I think the person on my left was more firm or shall I venture to
say hard.

-----Original Message-----
Subject: GRAPE NUT HARD. MMM

Male: HEY IS YOUR SALAD HARD OR SOFT?

--- Michael

see you
--- KK

I found a condom in my trash can as i was looking for a reciept i was trying to find. My boyfriend said that he found it in our driveway? I wasnt to sure about that,because we live next to a 4 lane hwy?It would have blown away if it was in the driveway,ecspecially being both pieces(the condom and the condom wraper? Can someone please tell me something!!!!! i would like to believe that he's not lying.Thanks Lady
--- Lady

This story starts two years ago. My girlfriend and I broke up because my "good" friend, named "ron," told her all these lies about me. For example I stole, cheated on her ect (just to try to get in her pants). I felt devistated and tried to tell her it was all lies. I even cried in front of my real friends and her out of udder frustration. She did not believe me because I once lied to her about smoking marajuana. Ron used this as his supportive evidence, "He has lied to you about stuff before, so why don't you believe me Jenny?" I then find out Ron was the person who screwed me and this girl over. Anyways they've dated for a year and a half now. I never forgave Ron until recently. We actually have been hanging out a lot since college started. He is still seeing my ex which, pisses me off every time she calls him and her name is mentioned. She tells him not to hang out with me if you can beleive that... That is how far she is in Ron's B.S. The fact is since we've been hanging out I've found out that he cheats on her, does more drugs than I ever did and lies to her constantly... what a CREEP! The only reason I pretend is that I am waiting for exactly the right moment and way to prove to Jenny that I didn't lie to her or prove that Ron is a lieing, cheating, womanizing creep. CAN ANYONE TELL ME HOW TO REPAY THIS A##HOLE!!! I Would a appreciate it...
Sincerely Perplexed,
JACK
--- "Jack"

I have been burned and crushed countless times...even by people who you would think they mean it when they say those words"i love you".I have been getting used to it and now when people say it,i really just shrug it off.But just a couple of days ago,someone i happen to have fallen for said those words...and i didnt shrug it off like normal...im extreamely happy about it...but,im also scared of getting crushed one more time.what i want to know is...how do i know this one means it?he has been searching for me for 4 years and has finally found me...because he loves me.this is what i want to be true...but am not quite sure if another guy can say this.how do i know hes telling the truth or lieing????
--- Melanie

I am 20yrs old. When I was in the 9th grade I found out that this girl(I'll call her TIffany)did not like me because of a past relationship I had w/someone I grew up with. I didn't really know her, I just knew who she was but I didn't have a problem w/her. When I was in the 10th grade I was going with a new guy,but it didn't last long because I only really liked him as a friend. After we faded, we remained friends. Later on, in the 12th I found out that he was going w/Tiffany.

Recently, this girl just met my new boy friend of 2yrs. She is somewhere around the age of 21-22. My boyfriend knows her younger sister, (age 15) through church. While he was dropping her off home one day he heard someone shout,"Hi Joe." He turned around but he didn't know this person, he never saw her before. He asked the younger sister who she was and how did she know him. She replied,"that is my sister, she knows you from your girlfriend." A couple of days later Tiffany calls my boyfriend's cell phone. He asked her how she got the number, she said,"she was using her younger sister's cell phone and pressed the wrong button so his number came up but she didn't notice it until it was too late." Since the person she was trying to call was standing next to him, she asked him to relay a message for her. SO he did. Then she said that she needed to talk to him and that she would call him later.

1st Incident: He told me that he was going to call me at a certain time and he ended up calling can hour later. Come to find out it was because he was on the phone with her. But when I asked him what took him so long he said nothing. Later in the conversation he ends up telling me she called and what they talked about, which was her having problems with her boyfriend who is my ex-boy friend. She is thinking about breaking up w/him. Then I asked him why he said it was no- thing that took him so long. He said because he knew he was going to tell me.

2nd incident: I was over his house one night. He went down stairs to wash clothes. 10 min.later, the phone rang but I didn't think anything of it. 30 min. passed and he still was down stairs so I went to see what was taking him so long. I found that he was on the phone so I asked him to come up stairs. He came up stairs, still on the phone. I didn't thinking anything of it. I thought it might be his dad or one of his friends. Come to find out it was her(Tiffany). So he is just sitting on the phone w/her all this time, right in front of me, talking to her the whole time.

When the first incident happened I didn't ge mad. I felt sorry for her because of her problem and I wanted to help. But then I thought about it, Why was she calling my boyfriend? If she needed to talk to someone, why couldn't she call someone she already knew? And, if it was nothing that had him on the phone for an hour when he was supposed to be calling me, why didn't he tell her he had to call his girl and he would talk to her later? To me "nothing" would have had him on the phone w/me. I told him how much I did not like what was going on,but he insists that it's not a problem.

When the second incident happened I wasn't mad right away either. I didn't get mad until I really thought about it. When you have company you don't sit and talk on the phone, especially when it's your girlfriend or w/o excusing yourself. He could have told her,"my girl is here, you'll have to call tomarrow." But instead he sat and talked and talked some more until I told him to get off. He could tell I was mad. Then he asked what for and I told him again that I don't like it, she can call someone else.

I told him to put his self in my position and think how he would feel to know only that since the 9th grade some guy did not like him because of a girl he went w/and then that same guy ended up going w/and is currently w/another one of his old girlfriends, and then all of a sudden the guy calls his new girlfriend.--But he won't answer that question. I told him that in my experience, any time a guy callled me out of the blue for anything like that and he did not know me ahead of time he was usually calling to get with me , that was just away for him to do it. But He still just insists that it is nothing and there is nothing wrong with male and female friendships.--But that is not the issue because I already know that. It's the way that it is happenning that bothers me.

I feel like she is trying get revenge. That she is trying to take him away from me. I trust him but I am starting to feel like I am being lied to.
Because he knows how much this is hurting me. I cried to him about this. You would think, that would have been enough for him to end it but he won't. When I was crying to him about it he asked, would it change anything if I was to actually meet her. I said maybe, if I actully got a chance to see how she is. But the other night when I reminded him, he claimed that he never said that. He got so mad when I reminded him and told me I was lying. I asked him why he wouldn't let this go,when before, he told me about some other girl and he said he didn't associated w/her anymore because he didn't need her for anything because he had me? He said, well this is diffent and still insists that it's nothing.

He keeps giving me these sorry excuses like they're gonna make a difference. Excuses like:
--Oh, she also knows of me form my dad. So I tell him, I know of Michael Jackson but that doesn't mean I know him. I wouldn't just call someone I know of about my problems, especailly not the opposite sex. --He says, but she has a boyfriend I say but she's talking to you about breaking up with him. Then I tell him that when a girl talks to another guy about her male problems and that man comforts her and helps her w/advice, the girl eventually starts to likes him (especially if he gives good advice) because she'll start to think: Well my boyfriend doesn't do this right and he seems like he would know how to treat me, and when I talk to him I feel better, I enjoy talking to him, he makes me happy when I am sad, we get along, and he understands me. These are some of the things women want in men and since he is doing all of that she will start to like him. But he doesn't think that's true.

But I think if he could let the other girl go, why can't he let Tiffany go? And, why is it that even though he sees how bad it's hurting me, does he insist on continuing the relationship? It's like he is puting my happiness on a back burning. Like me being happy is not as important as his relationship with her. Am I wrong for having these feelings? Am I reading to much in to this? Could it be that they like each other? Could he be cheating on me? What do you think the deal is?
--- FIF. M.

i have been married for 15 years 3 children.i am a born again christian my wife is not . i live in a town of about 4000 so you know just about everyone . my wife as been in the bar life for a while but not right now . she as made a reputation to her kids and me of being a bar hopper . so get to my story out of all the times she,s been out not once have i heard any thing abad about her never and i know alot of people that be,s at theses bars . but in the last couuple weeks i have heard a couple rumors aboout her seen kissing a man . now she saying it is all lies and that she did talk to him and had a couple fast dances with him .now i don,t know if i am in denial or not . my wife is a good looking 37 year old women but the guy that she apperently as suppose to kiss is hard looking he has no teeth in his head and has no ambition in life what soever . she as told me over and over again that she as never ever kissed him and that i am sick to beleive it . now in the last couple weeks while she as been on a trip i have been accused of fulling around with 2 different women now i know this to be nothing but lies . so my question is am i suppose to beleive her . even tho i know that she don,t love me am i suppose to beleive all this or not . this is causing alot of proplems in our marriage right now . even tho she wants to give up the club life and work our marriage out . i tell her over and over again if it did happen tell me and we will go on . but its the not knowing that is ruining us . please help .now i know for a fact that she can tell a lie fairly easy .
--- mike hooper

my lover says she loves me . But im just so unsure . u see shes married . We are in an affair , and shes killing me , by telling me to hold on to her. God help me i dont know what to do.

--- bob

My boyfriend cheated on me one time at the beginning of our relationship, but says he would never do that again. Then, a few days ago, I found another girl's phone number in his wallet. Is he as loyal as he says he is??
--- Tiffany

I was married and started seeing a friend. Fell in love with that person. We talked openenly about what we wanted and didn't want in a relationship. The person had alot of things in her life that was troubleing her. She had been married for 23 years, had a very nice income and used to haveing everything. She had two wonderful boys and loved them dearly and stayed in the marriage for them. The last one went off to college and she decided to get a divorce. She also was taking care of her dying mother at the time. Being very close to her family also she was worried about how things would look to them. So to get to the point she started lying to me about haveing sex with her husband. And then it went to weither she talked to him, then to just about anything that made her look bad. She claims she loves me and wants this relationship to work. But so far has not stopped lying about stupid things but I can't be in a relationship with lying. What should we do? She wants to stop lying but feels like it might be to late to fix the relationship? Please give some advice on this matter.
--- harass

My boyfriend, Ike, of about a month is in jail. He told me he loves me, but not "IN" love with me, the first day we started going out. He says he wants to grow with me. Ike had just gotten out of a relationship before he went to jail. He was caught by his ex, with me. I did not know of the relationship and he claims that he thought I knew. Either way, he cheated on her and I don't know if I can trust him when he gets out. Of course he tells me that I don't need to worry about all that and he would never do that, but i'm not sure if I can trust him. He says he and his girl was having problems and all that, thats the only reason he did it. So I asked, if we was to have problems are you going to do that to me? He said NO. Now, Ike still has about 8 months in jail and I feel if I stay true to him, so that he can depend on me while he is in there and when he gets out, that he will be true to me. Can I trust him? Should I believe what he tells me?
--- gin

When I hang out with my friends Matt and Stephen
they usually walk ahead and ignore me but when
I confronted them they denied it. My sister
thinks that Stephen and Matt are using me
and that they ignore me because I am not
smart enough to take part in their converstaions
I confronted them again and they denied it
are they lying on both accounts?
Thank you for your help

--- Tom

when I hang out with my friends, stephen and matt
usually walk ahead and ignore me but when I
confront them they deny it. My sister told
me that they are using me and they ignore
me because they think I am too dumb to hang
out with them, matt and stephen also
deny it are they lying on both accounts?
--- anon

I have been living with a man for approximately two years now and have caught him cheating twice, with the same girl. He moved out the other day and in with her and is now wanting to move back in with me. He states that he is sorry and that he will never do it again, that he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me. He also states that he has never had any sexual contact with this woman. What do you think, is he lying? Should I take him back? Thanks
--- "Anon"

My boyfriend says he wants to be with me forever and sayd he loves me and he wants to be engaged to me..But he always says that I am cheating on him when I am not and I think that he is the one that is cheating do u think he is lieing when he says he isnt?
--- tracy

I am dating someone I see approximately two to three times a week. As soon as he walks in the door he starts saying about all the things he has to do for the next day. Constant excess excuses about how busy he is 7 days a week (all work related). I have never seen him during the day but I have seen him on a Fri and Sat. evening. He never says names or places he goes never reveals any personal information just towns. He was introuced to me by a personal friend. My date, friend and I grew up on the same street. I am 58 and he is 57.
--- Diane Sabatini

i have been married nearly a year to a very beautiful and attractive woman. We are both in our mid 30's and had an incredible sex life up till 6 mnths ago when it all stopped. Though there has been an occasional romp in the sack, mayby 2-3 times since then, she was totaly void of any emotion, just laying there, waiting for it to end. This made me feel very cheap and confused. She showns no signs of any physiacal interest or desire in me and pushes away my repeated attempts to get close to her. I am not sure what is happening here. I believe there is another man. I am very confused and searching for any thoughts that might help me to understand what is happening.
--- jerry

My girl friend and i got into a fight the other day and she ended up leaving for work. when i called her to see if we could resolve this she said that she was staying at a friends house for the night. come to find out she got a hotel room instead. she said she was by herself and she had no where else to go. but she couldn't call me she said cause she didn't think i would be home. should i beleive her that she was by herself for the night.
--- "Anon"

im sixteen years old.
I recently told a girl who i have been very close friends with for three years that i love her.She has had a crush on me for the whole three years.
She had just split up with her boyfriend and we became close,i lost my virginity to her and she told me how much she loved me just after sex(kristal your right)then a week later she got back with her ex.i was distraught.
she split up again,fucked me again(whispered in my ear that she loves me)and said that she loves me and all this bullshit then she says we will never be able to go out.
she keeps telling me to just be friends,but i cant deal with it.i fuckin hate her with a passion but im still madly in love with her.
i just want the bitterness to go away so i can get on with my life.ive been like this for three months now and im not sure how much i can take before i start really getting mad.shes just such a fuckin "highschool bitch" wanting to be the center of attention.im worried that this experience is going to jade my views on women.
--- ed

me and my g/f argue alot, and shes never home, she "works" all the time..and i get online, and i see her, but its never her...so she says, and the other day i was talking 2 her younger cousin, he asked if i was the guy who called and didnt leave a name..what do u think? could she possibly be cheating? im hella nervous, i find it difficult to trust any girls...
--- jeremy

My buddy kori saids I get to go see DMX with him in concert. He told me I am going to be backstage and meet DMX. My other two friends Matt and Steve tell me that Kori is lieing to me. Kori told me I will see the ticket Friday. Is Kori lieing to me or not?.
--- Sean kaufman

my ex-girlfriend admitted lying to me once and alwyas answers questions with questions or "we'll see." thogh we no longer date , she wants to be "friends" and doesn't seem to be honest about that. since we live far apart and talk on the phone , i can't read her features...is answering a question with a question a prelude or sign of lying?
--- todd

i have been with this guy for about a month and when we started going out he was with another girl and i knew that but i still started going out with him and then on my birthday he had sex with another girl {a different girl then me and his other girlfriend} but every thing he say to me is so sweet like i want to be with you 4ever and i have never felt this way about anyone else.Then last saturday i kissed another boy and right before i told him that he said that he broke up with his girlfriend .And when ever he sees me with a boy he gets mad but then yesterday i see him with the girl he had sex with and then i started yelling at him and then he just laughed at me like it is a joke and then he ask why dont you trust me.Please him me should i give him another chance or should i leave him alone
--- Anon

HI...i am seeing this guy and he stood me up 3-4 times for our date and he dind't even call me up to cancel it on me i jsut kept waiting and waiting for him to call me and he never showed up or nuthing and i got ready for nuthing..but i talked to him the other day and he said he was in NJ....and he is busy now to call me up or to hang out with me he told me hecuz he has finals for school and stuff he wants to tell me the story about what happend that night F@F should i give him another chance at it or is he lieing to me......

please write back
--- Danielle

I have been seeing a widower for about a year. He has a step daughter who is 40 years old. He has always "helped" her financially. Recently, he told me that when he dies he will leave everything to her, house, money ect. (He is 52 and healthy)
About 3 weeks ago he asked me to think about coming to live with him. He stated that I would just be living in the house with him and my money would be mine and his money his and we would never marry.
Almost immediately he started backing off. Not calling,,,,not having anything to say when he did call. He was suppose to visit me for a few days in the month of June and all of a sudden he thinks he might not be able to afford the money for the visit.
I know his step daughter will be visiting him in June and I feel that she is again expecting him to give her money.
Whats up with this..... am I missing something?

I feel that he has had to choose between myself and helping his daughter. So I have to ask myself, would I always come last in this relationship?
Thanks for the advise.
--- Lynne

my boyfriend was suddenly offered a trip to thailand (bangcock, chaing mai, chaing rai, the golden triangle)with a business partner of his. he conveniently forgot to provide me with his itineary, when he was in touch, he never gave any way to reach him, any time he discussed the trip (2 line emails) he only spoke about the negitives. he told me he had a couple massages, and another booked for later in the day (3rd day there). when i asked him later about his massages he said none eventful, but only mentioned one of them. several days later i reminded him he had told me of atleast three and he 'remembered' that he had. at first nothinghappened. then he said that the 'unattractive, older, big built' massage therapist stroked his penis a couple times but 'it' didn't respond so she quit. (again, only referencing the one). he told me that he popped his head into one of the 'girly bars' just out of curiousity. later he told me he spent a few diff. nites playing pool in these bars. all the bars in these areas of thailand have 'bargirls' standing on display nude with numbers. girls are ordered by number from the house. also they circulate and converse with the patrons. some offer sample blowjobs. my boyfriend loves to tell me how unaffected he is by other women, one woman man and all that & that he'd never put himself in a situation of having to decline a woman coming on to him, but that if she were rubbing on him and being provokative, he'd have a hard time resisting (hence, why he wouldn't get into that situation in the first place...)however, when we go out and he gets drunk, he flirts, ignores me and makes sexual comments about other women. he came home from thailand and developed irriation under his glans and on his shaft. he asked me if i had a bacteria infection or yeast or what would cause that. also a strong odor both times we made love when he returned. i have smelled nothing since. i have been tested for every sti 3 times since ending a relationship with an very untrustworthy man last Fall. I am fine. I presently have no symptoms of anykind. i sent him an email asking him to do the responsible thing. he doesn't have to admit anything to me, but please, if he has any reason to believe he may have contracted something to get tested, and not have sex with me until then. well, this is exactly what he is doing. but he absolutely denies having any sexual encounter of anykind in thailand. he has also avoided being alone with me, avoids discussions of feelings regarding our relationship, he makes fun of me when i try to approach the subject of thailand, massage, and sex. he gets defensive and won't hear me out. he immediately begins defending and doesn't actually respond to what i am saying, his responses sound rote. a couple times, he started responding with a passionate denial, but then becomes very calm and paced. doesn't quite respond to questions directly, but kind of brings the conversation back to "it was gross over there", if i did anything with anybody, i would have worn a condom" (which i know he hates to do and avoids). i absolutely feel, beyond a doubt, that he is lying to me. but... there is always the thought that maybe i am just reading too much into things, like he tells me. we haven't had sex in 3 weeks. when i bring up his irritation, he brings up the odor and moves the conversation around as though i may have transfered something to him. i have been monogamous with him since november. the odor went away when he did, basically. (but, bringing it up takes the focus off of him.) he is overweight, not very tall, greying and maybe feels not too attractive. is very insecure and never, never tells me anything positive about me - no appreciation of me, usually finds something he can point out that i did wrong, or condescends to me. (I am MBA, play tennis, sail, hike and travel - i think that when we met, he did not expect me to actually be who i said i am, and doesn't seem to like me very much - altho, he claims he loves me, but isn't demostratively affectionate (he was for the first few months..). has gotten significantly cooler since returning from thailand (he also had layover in San Fran and had talked about getting a massage there). He masturbates to magazines and porn movies, so evidently, other women's bodys turn him on and stimulate him (as opposed to what he says - or opposed to fantasizing about me.) I don't want to be paranoid, but i can't shake the doubt about him on this one. any thoughts? (he is extremely wealthy, totally self-made, highschool drop-out with zero social graces, very self-absorbed and male-egocentered. shows constant absence of consideration for me, stands me up, breaks promises and commitments, and seems to think money will buy his way out of everything (i don't take a dime from him). your opinion would be appreciated.

--- anon

my boy friend always want me too leave so he can call ether bicthes i feel like his cheating why do i always have to leave so he can call a friend if nothings going on between them?
--- chris

I have a former friend who doesn't lead a truthful life. Everything she says is made up. Should I seriously try to get her psychiatric help? She's too far gone for me to deal with. I just don't know why her family hasn't done anything they have to have noticed. I'm not sure if it's my place to step in or not now that we are estranged.
--- Monica

My boyfriend of two years is a liar. He and his two best friends cover for each other a lot but sometimes slip up and on a few occasions I have caught my boyfriend in direct lies as well as lies of ommission. He can lie to me with a straight face and I don't know what to do. I know I should get out of the relationship because I feel dee down something is wrong here but I also feel stuck. Any advice?
--- Andrea

i think i being lied or cheated, and i want to know.
--- tillian

i think im being cheated on, and i wanted to know if its true.
--- tillian simmons

Iam very kind person and I think that peaple always using me ,sometimes Ithink iam the resposible for that tell me if you can help

--- Aliaa

I HAVE BEEN DATING "RICO" FOR A YEAR AND A HALF NOW, AND IN THE BEGINNING FOR THE FIRST 8 MONTHS HE WOULDNT TELL ME HE LOVED ME. HE LIED ABOUT WHERE HE WOULD GO. STUPID LIES.HE WAS VERY CONFUSED AND WAS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIS EX WIFE. I KNEW THIS BUT I CHOSE TO STAY WITH HIM ANYWAY. HE WENT TO A STRIP CLUB, WHICH I FOUND OUT LATER WAS FOR FOUR WEEKS IN A ROW. HE LATER CONFESSED A DANCER RECOGNIZED HIM FROM A MUTUAL FRIENDS WEDDING, AND LAID A LIP LOCK ON HIM. SHE SUPPOSEDLY TOLD HIM SHE WANTED TO BE WITH HIM, AND HE SAID NO BECAUSE HE IS DATING ME. SHE SAID SHE DIDNT CARE. I CALLED HER AT HER PLACE OF WORK. SHE WAS NOT TOO HAPPY ABOUT THAT. BUT SHE SAID THEY WENT TO A LOCAL SEEDY MOTEL. YUK. A MUTUAL FRIEND WHO KNOWS HER WELL SAYS NOT TO BELIEVE HER. BECAUSE SHE IS VERY DEMENTED AND VERY JEALOUS OF ANYONE EVEN REMOTELY GOOD LOOKING. SHE IS NASTY BY THE WAY. I AM NOT BEAUTIFUL BUT I AM PRETTY . I THINK I CAN HOLD MY OWN. TURN MANY HEADS. MY BOYFRIEND IS VERY GOOD LOOKING. I AM JEALOUS OF HIM. ALTHOUGH I HAVE NEVER BEEN JEALOUS OF ANY OTHER LOVERS.
ANYWAY, WE WERE JUST GETTING OVER THE LIE HE TOLD ME ABOUT THIS GIRL AT THIS STRIP CLUB,A ND HE SAID HE NEVER GOES THERE. AND ONLY WAS THERE WITH OTHER FRIENDS. SO A YEAR AND A HALF LATER I FIND OUT THAT HE WENT TO ANOTHER STRIP CLUB. HE IS A TRUCK DRIVER. SO IT IS VERY EASY FOR HIM TO DO WHAT HE WANTS. WHICH ALSO MAKES ME INSECURE. BUT I TRY REALLY HARD TO TRUST HIM AGAIN. I HAVE TOLD HIM REPEATEDLY TO TALK TO ME, AND THAT IF HE WANTS TO DO SOMETHING ALL HE HAS TO DO IS SAY SO AND HE WOULD HAVE MY BLESSING. HE SAYS HE HAD A BAD DAY, AND NEEDED A BEER. I SPOKE WITH HIM AROUND 9 OCLOCK THAT NIGHT HE NEVER MENTIONED HE WAS NEEDING A BEER. ANYWAY, HE IS VERY GOOD TO ME, HE MAKES ME LAUGH AND SMILE AND IS ALWAYS THERE FOR ME. HE HAS BEEN PATIENT AND ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS, AND I HAVE HAD A LOT. WHEN I ASKED HIM WHAT THIS CLUB WAS HE WAS LOOKIN UP ON THE INTERNET, HE SAID IT WAS A DANCING BAR, BUT HE WAS JUST PARKED THERE BECAUSE THERE WAS PLENTY OF SEMI PARKING. AND IT WAS LATE, HE WAS AFRAID HE WOULDNT GET A PLACE ANYWHERE ELSE. WHEN HE FIRST GOT CAUGHT, HE SWORE ON MY LIFE, HIS LIFE, AND OUR UNBORN CHILDS LIFE. BUT HE HAD CONFESSED TO A FRIEND. AND I COAXED HIS FRIEND INTO TELLING ME THE TRUTH. THEN I WAS READY TO LEAVE HIM AND HE FINALLY ADMITTED IT.
I GUESS I SHOULD TELL YOU ALSO. EVERY TIME HE IS OUT OF MY SIGHT HE CALLS OLD FRIENDS, HE GOES PAST BARS ON HIS WAY HOME FROM HIS FRIENDS HOUSE. BASCILY ITS LIKE HE WAITS UNTIL I AM NOT LOOKING AND IS VERY DISCREET AND PRIVATE ABOUT WHAT HE DOES AND WHERE HE GOES. HE ASKED ME TO MOVE IN A YEAR AGO. AND I DID, SO WE DO LIVE TOGETHER.
MY GUT INSTINCT TELLS ME HE IS HIDING MUCH MORE. BUT EVERY TIME I TRY TO CATCH HIM IN A LIE, WHICH IS HARD BECAUSE HE IS THOUSANDS OF MILES AWAY, HE COMES OUT CLEAN. HE SWEARS HE IS GOING TO TELL ME THE TRUTH AND ALWAYS SEEMS SO UNDERSTANDING OF MY INSECURITIES AND MY MISTRUST. WHICH I WILL ADMIT HAVE BEEN A LITTLE MORE THAN NORMAL. BUT I HAVE THIS GUT INSTINCT I CANT SHAKE. AND TODAY, TODAY, I ASKED HIM IF HE WOULD TAKE A LIE DETECTOR TEST. HE AT FIRST TOLD ME IT WAS A WASTE OF MY MONEY. HE TRIED TO TALK ME OUT OF IT. THEN HE STARTED TO GET MAD. HE GOT UP AND LEFT TO GO OVER THE ROAD. BUT TOLD ME HE REALLY DOES LOVE ME, AND THAT HE WISHED I WOULD BELIEVE HIM. I TRY. BUT WHEN I ASKED HIM ABOUT THE LIE DETECTOR TEST HE GOT DEFENSIVE, AND SAID HE WOULD DO IT, BUT HE WOULD BE MAD AT ME. BECAUSE I KEEP SAYING THAT I AM TRUSTING HIM. HE CHEATED ON HIS LONG TIME GIRLFRIEND IN HIGH SCHOOL MANY TIMES. THEN HE WAS MARRIED 9 YEARS AND HE TOLD ME HE KISSED SOMEONE ELSE WHILE HE WAS MARRIED AND THAT HE FELT GUILTY. BUT HE ONLY TOLD ME ABOUT THAT BECAUSE A MUTUAL FRIEND TOLD ME SO I ASKED HIM ABOUT IT. HE SAID HE WAS MAD AT HIS EX BECAUSE SHE WENT ON VACATION AND HE WAS NOT INVITED. SO THEY WERENT GETTING ALONG. HE SAYS HE FEELS REALLY BAD ABOUT IT. WHEN HIS EX WIFE AND I SPOKE, SHE SAID HE WAS A GOOD GUY, AND THAT HE WASNT A VERY GOOD LIAR.
MY BEST FRIEND WHO KNOWS ME WELL, WHO KNOWS FROM MY PAST I HAVE MANY REASONS TO DISTRUST, TELLS ME TO GIVE HIM A BREAK. I ADMIT I AM VERY SKEPTICAL. I HAVE RAKED HIM OVER THE COALS. BUT I JUST HATE HIS JOB, AND IT DRIVES ME KRAZY KNOWING HE LIED TO ME SO STRAIGHT FACED AND SWEARING ON OTHERS LIVES.
ABOUT THE REST OF OUR RELATIONSHIP. HE WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME, AND HAS LET ME VENT MY FRUSTRATIONS OUT ON HIM. HE HAS PICKED ME UP WHEN I WAS HURT. HE IS MY BEST FRIEND. HE DOESNT FIND IT EASY TO TRUST PEOPLE HIMSELF, AND HE DOESNT COMMUNICATE WELL. BUT HE TRIES SO HARD WITH ME. AND HE HAS GROWN SO CLOSE TO ME. HE SWEARS HE DONT WANT TO EVER GO THROUGH THIS DISTRUST THING AGAIN. SO HE WILL TELL ME IF HE WANTS TO GO SOMEWHERE OR DO SOMETHING I DONT APPROVE OF. SO TODAY RIGHT BEFORE HE LEFT I FOUND OUT HE LOOKED UP ANOTHER STRIP CLUB ON THE COMPUTER. HE VOLUNTEERED THIS KNOWLEDGE TO ME. HE SAID HE HEARD IT ON THE HOWARD STERN SHOW, AND WAS CURIOUS AS TO WHAT IT WAS. I ALSO LOOKED IT UP. AND I CALLED THE PLACE. IT IS 20 MILES FROM THE NEAREST TRUCK STOP AND THERE IS NOT TRUCK PARKING. ALSO HE IS NOT GOING NEAR THAT STATE THIS WEEK. HE WAS HOWEVER AROUND THE AREA LAST WEEK, WHICH IS WHY HE PROBABLY HAD THE EMAIL ADDRESS.
WHAT DO YOU GIES THINK ABOUT ALL THIS./??
HE KNOWS I HAVE ALWAYS TOLD HIM FROM THE BEGINNING TO NOT LIE TO ME. I PULL NO PUNCHES. I AM ALWAYS UP FRONT AND I TELL HIM THE TRUTH EVEN IF I KNOW IT WILL HURT HIM. I HATE LIARS.
IS IT JUST ME??
OH I FORGOT TO MENTION I GOT TOGETHER WITH HIM RIGHT AFTER HE LEFT HIS EX WIFE. HE STILL LOVED HER VERY MUCH AND WAS STILL HURTING . HE GAVE HER THE HOUSE AND TOOK ALL THE BILLS. I KNOW HE DONT LOVE HER NOW. I HAVE BEEN WITH HIM AS HE IS REALIZING THE THINGS ABOUT HER THAT WERENT AS PRETTY AS HE WANTED THEM TO BE. HE WAS CONFUSED WHEN WE FIRST GOT TOGETHER AND I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.
BUT A YEAR AND A HALF LATER HE LIED AGAIN ABOUT THE STRIP CLUB. ??????? WHY????? ESPECIALLY SINCE I TOLD HIM IF HE WANTS TO GO, I DONT HAVE A PROBLEM. HE SAYS HE DOESNT USUALLY LIKE TO GO, HE JUST HAD A LOT OF TIME TO KILL AND NEEDED A BEER THE LAST TIME. YAH RIGHT!!
HELP
SHOULD I TRUST HIM. SHOULD I LET IT GO??
--- MEZMREYED

Me and my boyfriend Matt have been together almost a year although we have split up a couple times it was never longer than a week but almost everytime we split up he started seeing someone else. But we have been doing really good for the past couple of months and even though I really know in my heart that he is not cheating or anything like that, anytime he goes some where with his friends and there is even a possibilaty that a girl will be there I get really painoid and most of the time I get really really mad, but I know he isn't doing anything. How do I stop feeling like that, it is really becomeing a problem between us.
--- Jessica

An aquaintance has recently told me she has parkinsons disease, she is also compulsive liar and you cannot believe anything she says, Im finding this lie is her farfetched so far. I found out she has told a couple of other people as well, all these people are the ones who are likely to give major sympathy, shoulder to cry on etc etc. She is very vauge about what the doctors are telling her, she has asked me not to mention it to her family (as "it will upset them") and all of a sudden she has started to shake (i thought shakeing happened graduly over a couple of months/years, not once the doctor diagnoses you! and its amazing how some parkinsons disease sufferers can shake uncontrolably one minute and be able to pick up a beer and light a cigerette with a steady hand the next) As bad as it sounds, its quite funny to watch her shake as she is putting in a great deal of effort, and you can see that shes acting. Should I tell I know shes full of S#!%???
--- bEERbAbE

My boyfriend lied to me about having cancer, he Says that he did it because he wanted his family to get closer. Turns out he didn't have it at all
--- Anon

My boyfriend lied to me about having cancer.he said that it was because he wanted to bring his family closer. Turned out for twom months he was lying he didn't have cancer at all.But I really like being with him, what to do
--- Anon

My boyfriend lied to me about having cancer, he Says that he did it because he wanted his family to get closer. Turns out he didn't have it at all
--- I'm being lied to

Technically this really isn't a story, but this forum seemed the most fitting for the question I have. Lately, I've been considering the possibility that around me, there are elite, secret people who are significantly more aware than I. They, through their greater awareness, deceive me, not just with words, but with their whole existence. The subtleties which I cannot pick up are subtle ways of mocking me in the worst way, because I can't know for sure that they are. Yeh, I suppose this sounds rather paranoid, but like I said, it's simply something I've been thinking about, not a rigid personal belief. Let me know what you think
--- Chrystophr

Hello. My name is Jason, my best friend nick...i have been suspecting hes telling me lies about stuff he believes in and agrees with me, and isnt being honest with what he is telling me. But see we've been friends for a long time now, but hes changed. bigtime. he's twice as stronger as me, and i hate to say it but if i ditched this dude he'd kick my ass everyday, trust me, hes really mean. So im in a dilemma: Stay friends with him and live through the lies..Or, get the shit kicked out of me, and maybe, even killed. He's psycho now, hes not what he used to be... I need advice on what to do, please reply soon. Thank you.

--- Jason

why do people lie in the real world?

--- lin-z

Hi I am Australian I met a girl and she told me that she was 27 and a lawyer and she had lots of money and a BMW and she also told me lots of personal stuff about herself that I thought was funny coming from a lawyer as they trust NOBODY. Well the penny dropped when I found she had another ICQ with 17yo on it...I wrote and told her I liked her and it didnt matter she was so young (I am 30)
I am wondering did she lie because she wanted to impress me cos she might have thought if she said she was 17 I wouldnt have dated her?
This is what I think maybe but anyway I told her to be honest and talk to me. Havent heard back from her yet (I asked her last week)
Tell me what you think
David
--- David Thomas

My boyfriend and me have been dating for just about 6 months. Tonight he told me he was going to a party for his friend's sister's children. From 11:00 at night to 1:00 in the morning. and although there might be some bad parents out there that do that (I'm making excuses for him) I truley believe he is lying to me although he says he never lies and he gets mad at me if i ever tell him how i feel. I try so hard and I love him so much that I suppose I try to make excuses for him I really need some advice on this please please help me!
--- Nikki

My girlfriend and I were having problems in our relationship. Every time we would get into a bad argument, she would ask me if we were still together, I would reply "yes" because I didn't want to lose her. One day we were trying to make a decision about our relationship, since we both knew the arguments were getting in the way. Around the same time, she told me she thought she had feelings for someone else. Our decision was supposed to be mutual. She asked what did I decide, I said,"I think we should seperate for a while". I asked her for her decision but she agreed with mine. Months later the person she had feelings for, her ex', turned out to be somewhat a sex partner for her. I tried to tell her to leave him alone, not out of jealousy, but for the simple fact that, although he was her "first", he might not be the last person she sleeps with. Keep in mind, she and I never got sexually intimate! Anyway, she calls me crying over him sometimes, and she complains that they aren't really a couple, he doesn't spend as much time with her as he does his friends, etc. She calls me "joking" saying she wants me back, then she'll change the subject or cover it up. What is it?
--- "Anon"

Hello Grandma,
There is more to this story.I am 32 years old and I have a boy that will be 9 in december.Scott wrote this 3 page list on what he "expected from me which consisted of my having to be subserviant.He siad that he only will make the real "big" decisions that i had to use coupons that I could not buy capri sun juices or name brand thing that I will cook 3 meals a day and cleAN the house everyday and work on my domestic skills ect. ect.It is as if all of a sudden he has turned into this shovenistic pig.He said that family is what he wANTS and yet because i refuse to leave my family because i can not trust him he says that oh well i have to deal with it.He would not be involved with the kid.He has told me because I did not have lunch ready yet(at my house)that i could not handle a simple task and that I was not smart enough to be his wife.I could not believe it.If I keep this baby that means financial hardship that means the potential of this mAN trying to keep screwing with my life my emotions and the kids.He can be a nice guy when he wants to be but for the most part he is self loving.He thinks he is a gift.He comes first.He refuses to go to counseling and usually everything is my fault and I am *&%#@%
in the head.I told him he was abusive and he is in denial. ?
--- christinek

My so called fiance said he wanted us to get a house and i had the money for the down payment and he did not.I told him that I wanted to put this in writing and he sat at my table and cried saying i did not trust him well after i gave him the money he decided he wanted to live by himself and that was february of 2000 he still owes me 1700 dollars any ways all of a sudden he decides to move to washington and I end up pregnant he at first broke up with me saying that i could not obey him and i asked about the kid and he said no matter what he is moving-
I briught up the fact that he still owed me 1700 dollars and he said you mean if i decide to marry
you i would still have to pay you back?Any ways I need advice I am thinking about terminating and i am thinking about telling his brother everything to help ensure i get my money?

--- christinek

Why do people lie? It only leaves people feeling hurt and betrayed! The truth eventually comes out, and your just left feeling bad and possibly the loss of a good friend. Is it really worth it?
--- "Anon"

This is a funny story that I think works well in this category of people wondering about whether they are being lied to. The point is that sometimes that sometimes people are mistaken and may not even know that they are lying or mistaken.

An elderly lady did her shopping and, upon returning to her car, found four males in the act of leaving with her car. She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice,

"I have a gun and I know how to use it! Get out of the car you scumbags!"

The four men didn't wait for a second invitation but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady, somewhat shaken, proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and get into the driver's seat.

She was so shaken that she could not get her key into the ignition. She tried and tried and then it dawned on her why. A few minutes later she found her own car parked four or five spaces farther down.

She loaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station. The sergeant to whom she told the story nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter, where four pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly woman described as white, less than 5' tall, glasses, and curly white hair carrying a large handgun.
--- "Anon"

ilove adammalen lovebeth
--- bethritholz

The woman in my life travels on business. We work at the same place so I am privy to details about these trips.... Recently she had to go on business she has soem male "friends" in the office one being another manager that I don not like...he was going...another manager from another office thats was going is a former lover of hers. She was/is the only female to go on these trips. Needless to say I was upset about this. To make a long story short....she was leaving on a Sunday her flight was to depart at 7:00pm but she had a "pre flight meeting" at 3:00pm so I was only allowed to drop her off at the office to meet her friend manager who she told me she would hang out with and reminded me she had never had a sexual relationship with. She was to return on A Wed morning flight.....I asked why she couldn't return on Tuesday night and she said the last flight out was at 3:15 (lie 1) and that she would not be out of meetings blah....when I looked up flights I found the last one out to be at 5:15pm I told her this and again asked her to come home asap...her response (lie 2) was that the tickets were not exchangable....I talked to her again and told her I had called the airlines and they were exchangable and asked her point blank f she just didn't want to come home early...she said no that was not the case (lie 3) she didn't want to "duck out" on her coworkers was her new lie ???? I do not know what to think and if I confront her with these obvious lies whe will turn it on me....any ideas...am I parinoid like she says or what ????
--- FJ

I've been dating a guy for 2 yrs and he has been lying to me way too much. I care about him alot though,but resently I have developed feelings for someone else. Any suggestions on what to do in this situation?
--- Victoria

My boyfriend lives 3 hours away and moved 1 hour away to work and he cheated on me while he was living 3 hours away. He moved 1 hour to work
last summer and ended up basically cheating on me then and promised me he wouldn't do it again and begged me to forgive him and not break up
with him. This summer he moved back and I found out yesterday that he is doing the same thing he promised he wouldn't do and he's begging and
promising me again. I figure if he promised and begged last time he wouldnt do it again and he did,it will probably be the same way next
time around. If he would lie to me about 1 thing I found out about,there is probably no telling what he has lied about or done that I don't know
about. What do you think?

--- Stacy

I'm 19 and my boyfrind is 36. We've been together for over a year now and he recently told me that all men in a relationship with someone think about having sex with other women. This made me a little upset and I asked him if he ever tried to get another woman in bed or if he ever fooled around with another woman. Of corse he said no and he "promised me" that his thoughts would never turn into actions. He goes to the bar sometimes and I'm not old enough to go. I just want to know if he's hitting on other girls or even doing stuff with other girls. Even though he promised me he wasn't, should I believe him? Should I trust him? Please help me. -G
--- Grace

is my real name
The Ubiquitous Mr. Siouxmoux

is leo laporte real?????????
(song lyrics)
Lies
you told me you loved me
so i don't understand
why promises are snapped in two
and words are made to bend
(the bigger, the better)
some stolen from japan
collected from around the world,
they'll catch you if they can

(chorus)
lies lies lies yeah
lies lies lies yeah
lies lies lies yeah
do i have to catch you out
to know what's on your mind
well, cleopatra died for egypt,
what a waste of time

white ones and red ones
and some you can't disguise
twisted truth and half the news
can't hide it in your eyes

(REPEAT CHORUS)

you say you'll try harder
but i think it's just too late
well, the car is revving in the drive,
and i'm not the sort to wait

the bigger, the better
some nicked from old saigon
collected from around the world
love lies on and an and on and on and on and

lies lies lies yeah (they're gonna get you)
lies lies lies yeah (they won't forget you)
lies lies lies yeah (they're gonna get you)
lies lies lies yeah
oh you know i know

(REPEAT CHORUS)
oh you know i know

--- The Ubiquitous Mr. Siouxmoux

This might seem strange -- or actually, having read a lot of the lies at this crazy site, maybe it is more normal than I can even know -- anyway, I met Chuck about three weeks ago at a night club. We've been dating since we met but he never lets me see his apartment. He always wants to come over to my place. I'm starting to get suspicious. He always says, "Oh, well, yeah, we'll go by next time." Or something like that. I'm starting to feel a little freaked out by it. Some friends of mine tell me they think he has a girlfriend living with him but I don't believe them. And yet there's something weird about him never taking me there. As a matter of fact, I don't know exactly where he lives. He always says, "The Fairfax District, you know, around the corners from Canter's deli." Is he lying, or what?
--- "Anon"

Click here to give an ANSWER or a REPLY.

MISTRESS
THE REASON WHY HE IS HOLDING ON IS BECAUSE WE ALLOW IT. I SAY WE BECAUSE I WAS A MISTRESS MYSELF. I DID END UP MARRYING THE MAN I WAS THE OTHER WOMAN FOR. IT TOOK FIVE YEARS. I LEFT COMPLETELY AND WENT ON WITH MY LIFE. THEN WE REUNITED. HE WAS AWAY FROM HIS WIFE DUE TO MILITARY OBLIGATIONS BUT, DURING THAT TIME HE WENT BACK TO HER LONG ENOUGH TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD BY HER AND TWINS BY ANOTHER WOMAN WHEN HE HAD ALWAYS TOLD ME HE DIDN'T WANT ANYMORE. I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S REALLY THE BEST THING FOR YOU TO DO. AS FAR AS MARRYING HIM. IT IS ALWAYS IN THE BACK OF MY MIND WILL HE DO IT TO ME JUST LIKE HE DID IT TO HER. HE NEVER DID GET A DIVORCE SHE DID AND NOW HE IS PAYING AN ARM AND A LEG IN CHILD SUPPORT BECAUSE HE SAT AND LET HER LAWYERS DO ALL THE WORK INSTEAD OF FOLLOWING UP AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. NOW HE IS STUCK TRYING TO APPEAL. I THINK THAT IF HE REALLY LOVED ME IT WOULDN'T HAVE TAKEN THAT MUCH PRESSURE FOR US TO BE MARRIED NOW. HE WOULD HAVE DONE IT ON HIS OWN. DON'T PRESSURE HIM ABOUT IT. IF HE WANTS TO MARRY YOU LET HIM DIVORCE HER AND ASK YOU INSTEAD OF GIVING INTO YOU. IF HE DOESN'T HE WASN'T WORTH IT ANYWAY. I'M LEARNING MYSELF AND I HOPE YOU LEARN TO THAT WE NEED TO LOVE OURSELVES FIRST AND DEMAND THE RESPECT WE DESERVE. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE. DON'T PLAY SECOND BEST. YOU COME FIRST AND IF HE SAYS YOU COME FIRST, HIS ACTIONS WILL PROVE IT.
--- ZANONYMOUS

All I have to say is that bad things happen to people - but, don't sweat it if you think he/she's cheating on you. You can easily tell if they are or aren't. Don't come to conclusions and then judge. Stay neutral until given any proof. My girlfriend just recently thought I was cheating on me and started yelling at me on the phone and wont talk to me face to face: And I haven't done anything - SWEAR TO GOD ALMIGHTY! I am such a trustworthy boyfriend, but she keeps saying my 'kiss' has changed and things like that - but, I haven't done jack. So don't come to conclusions too quick. It may not be a good idea, after all...
--- Chase Guymon

Honey, the exact same thing happened to me & if there is anything I've learned it's to trust your intuitions. I chose to ignore my suspicions about my guy & his girl "friend," only to find out that he cheated on me with her. It's best to get to the bottom of this immediately before any more harm is done. Ask him specific questions: where & how exactly did you meet her? how long have you been friends? what is it that makes you such good friends? etc. Then sometime, pretend to try to "get to know" her. Ask her the same questions. Watch her reactions & measure her responses to his. Are there any glaring discrepancies? Another good idea is to "get to know" her friends. They are usually a little less careful in their wordings - you can grab a lot of telling information in a few missteps by her best friends, this is, of course, that she has any besides your boyfriend!
Good luck & remember my best advice is to TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS - THEY'VE BEEN AROUND A LOT LONGER THAN HE HAS.
--- Miriam

To Lady,

I wouldn't think that finding a condom on your lawn or driveway is totally unbelievable but my question is whether he threw the condom away in a bathroom trash can or a more common trash can such as in the kitchen or garage. If I were to find a condom in my driveway, I probably wouldn't want to pick it up but if I did -such as if I feared that my kids might find it- I would throw it away in the nearest trash possible. When you have sex, chances are that you are going to throw the condom in the trash nearest to the bedroom or other location where sex occurs. It's all about convenience when you are throwing away trash.

--- Michael

to Bob who is with a married woman:
Does her husband make more money then you?
Dump her before they'd thrown you out.
--- danielle

Anon,

Come on - you can't be that in love with this guy that you would become so naive. This guy had a week of wild sex in Bangcock - wish it were me.

--- Gary

as a 20 yr. old female from NYC here are the most common lies NEVE to fall for...
(1)I'll call you
(2)you dont have to like somone to kiss them
(3)I dont want her but she keeps calling me (b/c she want me back)
(4) I hope we talk even after we leave this place.
(5) (even thogh i hav a drug/lying problem) I will call you at ** & we will go out w/o my firends.
(6)oops i went driving w/my cousin (sister, best friend, step-father) so i forgot to call you.
(7)My mother needs the phone.
(8)I promise i'll call you back (after i get high, eat, f**k some skank hoe, sleep, eat, cuddle w/my mom...) Hell, he never will call you back b/c he knows he'll see you at work, school, or the gym.
(9)I love you (before, during or after sex).
(10)She means nothing to me, she's just "good" company.
--- kristal (champagne)

Stacy,
Yes he will cheat again. He has shown you the way it is.
--- "Anon"

19 and 36. he is a lucky guy and you should realize that and not put up with any shit. if he doesn't meet your needs, leave. you can get 20 more older guys--or your age for that matter.
--- "Anon"

i am so FReaKed out! a friend told me to go to
lies people tell.com and look up the sex story by Patricia. let me just say this girlfriend, you have some fucked up self esteem issues. you need some Gloria Steinem, girlfriend. But I totally relate with what you're going through. I ran into a similar guy. Rocker dude with tons of charm, beautiful hair, caressing, lovely small house in the Topanga area. It freaked me out when I read your story. I think it's the same guy. Let me tell you this. you are so lucky you got out. There's a girl I met at Scream who was overdosing in the bathroom over this animal. She was going on and on about how he was so sweet and became satanic on her. She showed me her back and it was the same burn he gave me. He said he loved me, wanted to make me his childbride, so he gave me a silver anklet then burned my back with a seal from his ring. The girl saw my burn and filled me in on what he's been up to from April of the year. I dumped him in Febuary. My brother saved me. We have to talk. Only I don't know if you're a joke or not. You could still be hooked up with him. I didn't know his ex's name was Patricia. only PJ. Is this you? I'll give you a clue. The anklet said elephant.

--- Jodie

Grandma,
I can not tell you enough how you have helped me and how much I appreciate you for taking time out of your life to help me with mine.I have felt so alone and I appreciate you.
I am going over to scott's today to talk.I will write back later today.Again thankyou.
--- christinek

Dear Christinek -- This is Grandma:

So, in reply -- Why do you tell him that he is abusive? It seems like it might be a good idea just ato acknowledge to yourself that he is abusive and quietly move away from him. His attitudes are obviously self centered to the extreem. His demands of you and abusive treatment seem to make absolutely clear that at this point in his life he is incapable of being any kind of loving partner. What he wants right now is a marionette so that he can pull the strings and make her dance. If you are more than a puppet you will call it quits with this guy and move on.

I have dealt with men like this and have been helped a great deal -- for FREE -- by talking to the counselors at my local YWCA -- they are in your phone book and will help you adentify that this man might be a batterer waiting to happen.

Let me know how it goes.
--- Grandma

This is a reply to CHRISTYNEK -- whose lover owes her $1700 bucks...

Yes -- by all means you should tell his brother everything. You should refer them to this page of this strange website where you have told your story and let his whole family learn about how he has mislead you and stolen from you!

Good for you for having had the foresite to at least suggest that he sign a written agreement with you about the down payment. It is regretable that he was able to manipulate his way out of signing it. Girls: When men turn on the tears they are ten times as likely to be lieing as women -- and you know that's the truth!!

About the termination -- personally I hate to think of it -- but that's my personal feelings and I support a woman's right to choose. But I really think that if you have any belief in Bigger Things that you might want to take a moment ask for some Guidance with a capital G for this one. It's a very big decision.

--- Grandma

tarty mart
--- tart

I know that life has a weird way of being, sometimes it makes us laugh and sometimes it makes us cry through it all I want you to know that you where loved more than I ever told you. Things always happen for a reason I believe that maybe this time apart will make us realize that we carry and manage our own lives although we think as one. Tanya God and fate brought me to you and for some reason it has pushed us away from this. In my heart I feel that you really don't care about me the way you say you do if you did than you would have not reacted in such a terrible way even putting your life at risk (no man is worth that not even me). I have learned that people are who they are no matter what and they will never change and asking someone to change really does not love that person. I have asked you to change plenty of times and that was wrong of me, at first I accepted everything even you going out. I used to say to you have a good time be careful. I used to say that because I was so sure of our relationship and I knew guys would come up to you but I did not care because I knew your eyes where only for me but unfortunately I don't think like that anymore. What is to stop you from going somewhere else? You say I don't make you happy, I don't give you flowers, candy, or materialistic things but I gave you something every woman yearns for her man to give her, MY HEART, MY SOUL and MY MIND. Tanya (Baby Girl) it hurts so much to let you go but the one thing I have learned in my 24 years of life is PEOPLE DO NOT CHANGE!!! You are who you are and that is it. There are too many things that get in the way now. Yesterday your ex's cousin hugged you and you spoke to him meanwhile you don't even like my cousin there are too many little things like that, that get in the way. Remember we used to have fun back then even though you did not like them but we did not care it was just fun, now we forgot about fun and worry about little things that don't matter. (That was just an example) They say if you love someone let them go and if they come back then it was meant to be... In my case I'm letting you go just so I can picture the smile on your face that made me so happy to see the smile that would give me confidence in myself and made me feel like I was invincible. Life is an on going lesson sort of like being in school 24 hours a day 7 days a week for the rest of your life. From time to time you get quizzed and have to go back to certain lessons you've learned and not make the same mistakes over again or else you would not pass to the next level. Do me one last favor please: You are too good of a woman so please make sure the next is not the same thing you called me 'A FALSE ADVERTISEMENT'
--- "Anon"

To Victoria..dump the liar who'll probably never change, and go for someone who treats you right. If you put up with being lied to, it's your fault..not his. You could love him to death, but even that won't change his lying ways. Leave him..and make better choices next time.
--- Mouse

IN ANSWER TO THE PARANOID GUY WITH THE GIRLFRIEND WHO TRAVELS...

Dude -- you are spending way too much time worrying about this woman. Here's the case: if she's screwing someone else and you don't know about it now, you'll find out about it later when she leaves you. If you find out about it sooner, the relationship ends just that much sooner.

If you don't trust your lover, you just might not love her.

Ooh -- that's good, I think I'll use that somewhere else.

Anyway -- simple answer: lighten up. Yeah, you are being paranoid and fearful.

Try a little trust. It works wonders.

Thanks.

--- Chris

He's 36 and you're 19: Of course he's hitting on other women!!! You're just a hot little boy toy to him. I mean, I don't want to be unkind about this but a man that old fooling around with someone as young as you are is either just in it for a good time or has some real immature psychosis going. And chances are good he's doing with other women whatever he is doing with you.

Sorry to be so blunt but you should get with someone closer in age to your own.

Hope this helps.
--- Dr Joan

I'm inclined to agree with old Freddie there -- any guy who will not let you know where they live is probably living with his mother.
--- Thinkso

Oh my gosh -- this one is for the girl dating the guy who never taker her to his place. Hint: he lives in his car!!! Of course he's lying. His place might be a dump or he may have a girlfriend. He's not worth hiring a private eye to follow. Get out NOW! -- Hope that helps.
--- Freddie

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